Author: Divorce Minister

PSA: Sorry Caught Cheaters

Public Service Announcement: Cheaters who only say sorry for what you caught them doing are really only sorry that they got caught. Some cheaters have so much contempt for us, faithful spouses, that they will ask for our information and sources in order to only confess up to the exact point of exposure to us. … Continue reading “PSA: Sorry Caught Cheaters”

Mailbag: What does learning to embrace one’s quirkiness mean?

Dear DM, When you say you had to learn to love yourself quirkiness, introvertness and all – do you mean that you struggled with blaming yourself for your ex’s rejection? I’m 5 years out and have definitely been blessed by God since the divorce. I still have this anxiety about it having been my fault … Continue reading “Mailbag: What does learning to embrace one’s quirkiness mean?”

When most vulnerable…

Cheaters seem to thrive on cheating when their spouse is most vulnerable. This is yet another demonic pattern that I have noticed. The vulnerable time might take multiple forms: -Maybe the faithful spouse is in a fight for her life dealing with breast cancer? -Maybe it is a faithful husband who just was fired from … Continue reading “When most vulnerable…”

Cheater-Speak: “I thought you would get angry.” Continued…

“I thought you would get angry. That is why I didn’t tell you.” -Cheater (on why she lied) to faithful spouse This sort of statement is red meat to therapists and pastors who see their roles as rescuers. They hear something like this, and immediately jump to rescue the (cheating) “damsel in distress.” They are … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I thought you would get angry.” Continued…”

Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry.”

“I was afraid you would get angry. That is why I did not tell you [I was cheating on you].” -Cheater Isn’t it amazing how a cheater can make their own lies your fault? Now, we know their lies are their lies. However, cheaters are adept at shifting blame. This sort of mind trick was noted on … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I was afraid you would get angry.””

Just another day five years out…

Just another day five years out… I used to dread the anniversary of my divorce. But this year it came and passed without me noticing. It was just another day five years later. I was too busy with my new life to be bothered by what is now ancient history…so to speak. I share this … Continue reading “Just another day five years out…”

It does get better…

Instead of your shame     you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace     you will rejoice in your inheritance. -Isaiah 61:7a, NIV It gets better… When in the depths of the darkness, it is hard to imagine the pain ever ending. The thought of a life without the person who became one with you in … Continue reading “It does get better…”

Just looking for an excuse to divorce? Really?!

Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” -Mathew 19:3, NLT Are faithful spouses just looking for an excuse to divorce? Pastors, do you really think this? I am astounded that some pastors and Christian leaders believe faithful spouses … Continue reading “Just looking for an excuse to divorce? Really?!”

But God Stayed Married to Cheating Israel…

“I will punish her for all those times     when she … went out to look for her lovers but forgot all about me,”     says the Lord.  “But then I will win her back once again.” -Hosea 2:13a,c, 14a, NIV But God stays married to us even though we are unfaithful to Him. Repeat after me: Hosea is … Continue reading “But God Stayed Married to Cheating Israel…”