How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NIV Some cheaters are so bold as to believe they know how YOU need to improve as a Christian! They are breaking several of the … Continue reading “Telling you how a Christian should behave”
The Grand Martyr Cheater
Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love–Isaac–and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” -Genesis 22:2, NIV Leave it to cheaters to pretend they are doing something noble while acting treacherously and wickedly towards their spouse. They … Continue reading “The Grand Martyr Cheater”
Cheap Cheater forgiveness teaching addressed
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Cheap Cheater forgiveness teaching addressed”
Resource Reminder: David Clarke, PhD
While wondering on the internet looking for resources from David Clarke, PhD, I stumbled upon his website (click here). These past few days I have been listening to his podcast. He has some good things to say in those podcasts. Clarke is not a wimpy Christian counselor. He does not let cheaters off the hook … Continue reading “Resource Reminder: David Clarke, PhD”
Hate and Adultery
Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. -Romans 12:9b, NIV “If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT Hate gets such an undeserved reputation among Christians. Sometimes the right thing to do is to hate. Evil … Continue reading “Hate and Adultery”
Source of misery
Assuming a cheater is miserable because their spouse is so lousy is a dangerously bad assumption. The misery may simply result from a discord between their actions and their morals. They cannot escape the condemnation in their hearts over the sins they are committing. It is also possible their misery is a result of unresolved … Continue reading “Source of misery”
Feeding the entitlement beast
Some pastors and marriage counselors simply feed the cheater’s entitlement. Even when a cheater confesses infidelity–say an emotional affair–some will choose to focus on the faithful party’s “deficiencies.” They will treat the cheater as the “victim” in the marriage as opposed to the sinful aggressor that they are. Such people fail to understand and apply … Continue reading “Feeding the entitlement beast”
Spouse improvement lists from the adulterous
Cheaters sometimes come with the faithful spouse to a pastor (or Christian marriage counselor) with a list. This is a list designed to excuse their behavior and keep the focus off their own sin. Many take the bait. We, faithful spouses, think that if we do the requested self-improvements then we can save our marriage. … Continue reading “Spouse improvement lists from the adulterous”
Embracing mourning
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. -Matthew 5:4, KJV Divorcing a cheater comes with tremendous amounts of loss. Anyone who has experienced such a divorce does not need to be told this. They have lived it. When I look at this beatitude from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I “translate” … Continue reading “Embracing mourning”
Blaming you for the emotional affair
If the cheater blames you for their emotional affair… …be aware that they will have no problem blaming you for a physical affair, too! This is one of the many reasons to take an emotional affairs seriously. Once the cheater feels embolden to believe lies about emotional affairs–namely, they are not responsible for such sin–then … Continue reading “Blaming you for the emotional affair”