Last Friday, The Washington Post ran an article addressing five myths regarding marriage. The article is entitled, “Five Myths About Marriage” and is written by John Gottman and Christopher Dollard. For those who are unaware, the Gottmans are relationship research experts due to their very thorough longitudinal scientific study of relationships. They are giants in the literature as … Continue reading “Gottman WaPo Article on Marriage Myths”
Cheaters are rejecting God.
“Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.” -I Samuel 8:7, NLT For whatever reason, recognizing the larger picture is helpful. Cheaters are not “just” rejecting their spouse. They are rejecting God. They may say otherwise. In fact, they … Continue reading “Cheaters are rejecting God.”
“Kid” gloves with female cheaters
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV Pastors and other Christian counselors have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female cheaters. It is a kid gloves … Continue reading ““Kid” gloves with female cheaters”
Divorce Minister Passes 500,000 Views!!
Divorce Minister blog ministry passed a platform milestone this past week: The blog has been viewed over half a million times from over 200,000 visitors hailing from nearly 200 countries! And all of this has happened in less than four years of existence! It is quite amazing to me to see demonstrated interest and hunger … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Passes 500,000 Views!!”
Mailbag: Time limit on divorce?
Dear Divorce Minister, I discovered that my wife was unfaithful 5 years ago. I wanted to work thing out and told her “Maybe now, we can have the marriage that we always should have had.” She said she was sorry and wanted to make this work and our marriage did get better at least in … Continue reading “Mailbag: Time limit on divorce?”
Yelling at “Bear” in SIX
So, I am watching a TV series that is a dramatization of Seal Team Six. It is called, “SIX.” The leader of this Seal team is a character nicknamed, “Bear.” He and his wife, Lena, are going through a difficult time. They lost a daughter and were struggling to get pregnant again. In the second … Continue reading “Yelling at “Bear” in SIX”
Adultery is adultery.
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” -Exodus 20:14, KJV Adultery is… “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.” -from dictionary.com Cheaters are all about making up their own private definitions of adultery or cheating. Those “definitions” exist to “excuse” inexcusable, sinful behavior. A cheater might say such … Continue reading “Adultery is adultery.”
Nancy Ortberg and WCC Elders’ “Efforts” to Reconcile
“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.” -Luke 17:3, NLT Nancy Ortberg and the Willow Creek Church Elders’ “Efforts” to “Reconcile” The scandal continues to brew at Willow Creek Church in Chicago over Rev. Bill Hybels conduct with women over the years. I have written about this controversy before (here, … Continue reading “Nancy Ortberg and WCC Elders’ “Efforts” to Reconcile”
How to prepare for Christian couples counseling post-infidelity discovery
Cheating is exposed. Now, the cheater is willing to go to couples therapy and rebuild what the cheater destroyed. How does a faithful spouse approach such sessions with a Christian couples counselor? 1. Remember you have choices here. Did you choose this counselor? What do you know about him or her? If this person is … Continue reading “How to prepare for Christian couples counseling post-infidelity discovery”
Fitness Assessment is NOT Pastoral Care
When my trial to retain my minister’s license ended, I was given a year of “pastoral care” as part of my clearance with my (now former) denomination. The local denominational official in charge of executing this year of “pastoral care” decided it meant the year would conclude with a vote on my fitness–more or less–to … Continue reading “Fitness Assessment is NOT Pastoral Care”