God is forgiving AND leveled consequences!

Because you complained against me, every one of you who is twenty years old or older and was included in the registration will die. You will not enter and occupy the land I swore to give you. -Numbers 14:29b-30a, NLT When people consider God and His behavior towards sinning people, Christians often assume the book of … Continue reading “God is forgiving AND leveled consequences!”

Maddening Disbelief of Others

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Maddening Disbelief of Others”

Christian Leaders, All sins are not equal!

And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. – Leviticus 20:10, KJV Not all sins in a marriage are acceptable to God as worthy of ending a marriage (e.g. Mt 5:32). Not all … Continue reading “Christian Leaders, All sins are not equal!”

Validation, What a gift!

Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Validation, What a gift!”

A biblical warning to “neutral” observers

6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins [sexual immorality, impurity, and greed], for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. 7 Don’t participate in the things these people do. -Ephesians 5:6-7, NLT How many people allow themselves to be fooled by cheaters and their “justifications”? Now, I am not … Continue reading “A biblical warning to “neutral” observers”

Faithful spouses are an amazing bunch!

After months, years, or even decades of emotional beat-downs, faithful spouses often struggle in knowing their incredible worth. We discount our gifts, abilities, and precious status in God’s eyes. Faithful spouses, you are an incredible bunch! The stories I hear and the people I have met through this ministry confirms this fact to me. I … Continue reading “Faithful spouses are an amazing bunch!”

CHOOSE your victory story!

Instead of shame and dishonor,     you will enjoy a double share of honor. -Isaiah 61:7a, NLT Why would you choose to accept the lie-filled narrative from your cheater as your own narrative? Choose your own victory narrative! Remember: You are not the rejected spouse. RATHER, you are the FAITHFUL SPOUSE! You are not the morally … Continue reading “CHOOSE your victory story!”

Mailbag: How does somebody just fall out of love with someone?

Hello, I’ve read a few of your articles and it helped me a lot. My ex-wife cheated and left me for another man. It was the most devastating thing I’ve ever been through. We were together for 19 years and this all happened in just the last three months or so of our marriage. We … Continue reading “Mailbag: How does somebody just fall out of love with someone?”

The Mercy of NOT Knowing EVERYTHING

It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. -Ephesians 5:12, NLT Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God. I am convinced this is true in my case. The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship … Continue reading “The Mercy of NOT Knowing EVERYTHING”