All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him. – Genesis 37:35, NIV Perhaps, I have grief on my mind today as I did a funeral and graveside service this … Continue reading “You Never Really “Get Over It””
Failed Marriage, I Think Not
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” -Hebrews 13:4, NIV “The Marriage Failed.” Yeah, right! Today, I am writing about a certain psycho-babble used to help everyone avoid unpleasant discussions surrounding divorce. “The marriage failed.” It tried very hard…poor thing…but ultimately … Continue reading “Failed Marriage, I Think Not”
Beloved Child
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. – I John 3:1, ESV BELOVED CHILD Too much of my life was spent chasing after the identity of being … Continue reading “Beloved Child”
Letter from Still A Chump
Hi Pastor David, I found your blog via Chump Lady. I know that this is not your blog’s stated purpose — you call it Divorce Minister after all — but I am trying to reconcile with my husband after his affair nearly 3 years ago. I read Chump Lady because I find that … Continue reading “Letter from Still A Chump”
Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18, NASB Metaphors, while being imperfect approximations, often can help us grasp difficult and complex truths conveying both intellectual and emotional freight with vivid imagery. Here’s my shot on explaining by metaphor why focusing on forgiveness first after adultery is cruel: Imagine you … Continue reading “Lock the Doors, Grieve the Death”
Grief and Forgiveness
“My soul refused to be comforted.” – Psalm 77:2b (NASB). “‘For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.’” – Jesus (Matthew 6:14-15, NASB). I suspect that most Christian survivors of adultery have been told that they have to … Continue reading “Grief and Forgiveness”
Pastor Exchange on “Divorce is not sin.”
Below is an exchange between myself and another pastor on my post: “Divorce is not sin.” It is shared with permission from Bruce. David, Good morning and thank you for sharing your thoughts, spoken out of your own pain and theological wrestling. I have some follow-up questions for you to ponder as you continue to … Continue reading “Pastor Exchange on “Divorce is not sin.””
The Great Reconciler False Assumption
Assumption: Divorced Christians have a moral imperative to remain open to remarrying their former spouse regardless of circumstances of the divorce until that former spouse remarries since they are called to emulate God’s character of being the Great Reconciler (II Corinthians 5:18). False. God is holy and jealous. He is the same in both … Continue reading “The Great Reconciler False Assumption”
Get Tested & Be Discerning, Please!
~~~ One of the most humbling things that I was forced to do in light of my ex’s infidelity was to go to a clinic to be tested for STDs. It was humiliating. I was there due to my ex’s moral failures and lies. A medical professional advised me to get tested. I knew my … Continue reading “Get Tested & Be Discerning, Please!”
Buffet of Bad Options
“‘If a man is found lying with a married woman, then both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman; thus you shall purge the evil from Israel.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NASB. While much is made of God’s proclamation of hating divorce in Malachi 2:16, I fear that many … Continue reading “Buffet of Bad Options”