To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:31-32, NIV
How do we know if we are Jesus’ disciples? Our actions speak we are so. They say we obey His teachings. We repent when we sin, do not lie, do not murder, and do not commit adultery to name a few from the Ten Commandments Jesus taught (e.g. Mark 10:19).
While our actions do not save us from damnation as no one can earn their way to Heaven (Ephesians 2:8-9), our actions do reveal our hearts and in whom we have placed our faith (see James 2:14ff). A living faith in Christ ought to transform our lives. It is a faith that teaches and empowers us through the Holy Spirit to live holy lives as God is holy.
Furthermore, God is clear in the Bible to test people, i.e. leaders, by the fruit of their lives (e.g. Mathew 7:17). Does this person walk in a way characterized by the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) or is it characterized by lies and sexual immorality?
Look at the actions.
And look at the fruit.
That will tell you what kind of “tree” one has encountered.
When I confronted my ex-wife about her affair, I remember her not wearing her wedding ring. It was a painful discovery to make at the time as I really wanted our marriage to survive and did not want to believe that she was cheating on me (despite the clear evidence otherwise). However, that action was the most honest action in our encounter that day. It represented physically the truth she (much) later confirmed that she was no longer being faithful to and honoring our marriage.
I share that biographical vignette to encourage you all to pay attention to the adulterous spouse’s actions. They may be telling you more than you think.
While may be painful to discover these things as soul rape is painful, I am calling all to be wise. Live in the truth. And the truth will set you free.
Judging actions over words is something I tell myself to do daily. Dr. George Simon says this over and over in his books. I’m pretty sure my aldulterous husband is a narcissist. Narcissists’ words cannot be trusted. Chump Lady points out that narcissists get want they want with rage, charm or self pity. I’ve seen all three of these from my husband. Right now he is in the self pity phase trying to convince everyone he is such a hurt and broken man. Not broken enough to change his behavior. Unfortunately, there are too many people still listening to his words. I hope they find the wisdom to judge actions over words soon. I’m grateful I’m already there.
DM
Very true…I remember my ex stopped wearing his ring and I did not know at the time the full reason why. But just the fact he stopped wearing his ring hurt so much.