May all who gloat over my distress be put to shame and confusion; may all who exalt themselves over me be clothed with shame and disgrace. -Psalm 35:25, NIV Churches and church leaders, generally speaking, are not good at giving faithful spouses a voice and reaffirming their agency. At least, that is my experience. What is common … Continue reading “Silencing of faithful spouses by the Christian community”
Author: Divorce Minister
Truth can both free and punish
“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” -Matthew 12:36-37, NIV When reconstructing one’s narrative, truth can be both freeing and punishing. It is … Continue reading “Truth can both free and punish”
Assumption regarding faithful spouses staying
Another megachurch pastor has fallen from his position via marital infidelity. This time it involved a megachurch pastor in Orlando, FL. In his article “Orlando Church Community Reels from News of Another Pastor Scandal,” reporter Jackson Elliott expounds that Zach Van Dyke of Summit Church (Herndon Campus) admitted to an affair. While this is a … Continue reading “Assumption regarding faithful spouses staying”
You cannot go back. You must go forward!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. -Psalm 23:4, KJV You cannot go back. Time does not work that way. You cannot unknow what you now know. Knowledge does not work that … Continue reading “You cannot go back. You must go forward!”
Cheaters have a warped view of reality
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NIV The Warped World of Cheaters When you have trouble admitting truth, your grip with reality will become looser and looser. Along with that loosening grip, your world will become warped. This … Continue reading “Cheaters have a warped view of reality”
Just a historical fact
The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part. -Job 42:12a, NIV Looking back is odd these days, I feel like I am considering a stranger as I think about my first marriage. God has truly blessed the second part of my life. I feel tremendously grateful for all He has poured … Continue reading “Just a historical fact”
But I wanted to stay divorce!!!
At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” -Job 1:20-21, NIV Shame … Continue reading “But I wanted to stay divorce!!!”
DARVO tactic of abusive cheaters
History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. -Ecclesiastes 1:9, NLT DARVO is a well-known psychological abuse tactic. It stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim Offender. Here is an article that explains it (link here). The pattern describes a person who denies the sin, attacks … Continue reading “DARVO tactic of abusive cheaters”
Overemphasis on eternal destiny distorts true Christianity
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. -John 10:10, NLT My former father-in-law (FIL) and former mother-in-law (MIL) adhered to a 1980s version of evangelical Christianity where it was about believing certain principles. While I appreciate the evangelical efforts of those … Continue reading “Overemphasis on eternal destiny distorts true Christianity”
Look for a pastor with empathy!
Then Jesus wept. -John 11:35, NLT When looking for a pastor, I would encourage you to consider empathy and compassion as necessary traits. The “answer man” or “answer woman” is not what a hurting heart needs. Today, I read an excellent article about the importance of this trait in pastors. It was written by … Continue reading “Look for a pastor with empathy!”