Public Service Announcement: Being “miserable” is no excuse to cheat! What astounds me is how some pastors do not think this one through very well. They “joke” about their wives “putting up” with them even in the presence of a divorced pastor whose wife cheated on him. They either fail to see how insensitive that … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: Being “miserable” does NOT justify cheating!”
Tears of gratitude for kindness
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22-23, NIV (emphasis mine) Without fail, I find myself tearing up when I hear stories of kindness. The stranger that stops for another in need and offers of themselves when they didn’t have to. I … Continue reading “Tears of gratitude for kindness”
Pro-Tip: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist for help!
Pro-Tip: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist* for help fixing the marriage! This is a hard learned lesson for me. It did not go well when I did not live by this tip. I will leave it at that. The problems with using your cheater’s individual therapist for the marriage issues are multifold: 1. … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do NOT use your cheater’s individual therapist for help!”
Divorce Minister Statistical Year in Review
At the beginning of 2021, I would like to pause to share some statistics about the ongoing reach of Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously during the past year, 2020. During 2020, Divorce Minister had: Views = 95,544 Visitors = 31,217 Countries/Territories of Origin = 153 The blog’s top five actual posts: 1. Nancy Ortberg shares … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Statistical Year in Review”
Pastors, be more biblical and leave divorce off your vice list!
Pastors, let us strike “divorce” from our list of social ills and vices! Before going through a divorce myself, I probably never would have understood the importance of this simple move. I was not sensitized to the subtle shaming messages such inclusion sends. What I have noticed is how pastors and other Christian leaders will … Continue reading “Pastors, be more biblical and leave divorce off your vice list!”
Cut the Connection
When at a conference following the fresh official end to my first marriage, I was given some solid advice about my future. Like two ships untying their lines from a dock, I was told to let my ex-wife sail her ship away, and I was to do the same. It was about cutting the cord … Continue reading “Cut the Connection”
God’s Deal-Breakers: Eschatological Lessons on Covenant
But they were broken off because of unbelief, and you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but tremble. For if God did not spare the natural branches, he will not spare you either. -Romans 11:20b-21, NIV An often used argument against faithful spouses choosing divorce from a cheater is the analogy to God’s covenant with his people. … Continue reading “God’s Deal-Breakers: Eschatological Lessons on Covenant”
Encouragement: Good men and good women DO exist!
He replied again, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.” … “Yet I will preserve 7,000 others in Israel … Continue reading “Encouragement: Good men and good women DO exist!”
…and then the cheating is discovered.
…and be sure your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23b, KJV All those emotionally cold counseling meetings. All the finger-pointing and fault-finding sessions. All the anger over what seemed petty yet was treated as “life and death” marriage problems. …then the cheating is uncovered, and it all starts to make sense. While it … Continue reading “…and then the cheating is discovered.”
Re: Comment on “Divorce lessons from the Christmas Story”
I recently received a comment responding to my Christmas post where I share divorce lessons from the Christmas story (click here to read what I wrote). It is a thoughtful comment that I believe deserves some engagement from my end. So, I decided to pull it out and share my thoughts in response to it. … Continue reading “Re: Comment on “Divorce lessons from the Christmas Story””