And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.
-Acts 17:11, NLT
Maybe you are like me and find it difficult to say no to an authority figure? Maybe not so much?
I am writing to those who struggle with walking away from unhelpful authority figures. In particular, I am encouraging faithful spouses to walk away from pastors who are not supportive or are damaging in their take on adultery/infidelity.
That is what I mean by “firing” your pastor.
In other words, I am encouraging you to exercise your discernment muscles. Even the Apostle Paul was not above such scrutiny as we see in Acts 17:11!
Pastors are fallible. We make mistakes. Some of us take awful and unbiblical stances.
My encouragement to faithful spouses is to look for a faith community that is supportive and takes adultery seriously, which includes not blaming victims. If a pastor is actively supporting “The Shared Responsibility Lie”, I would encourage finding another pastor and church.
It is okay to walk away from a pastor, church, or even denomination that is hurtful and unwilling to change.
I’ve done this on all three accounts.
However, do not mistake the failings of “man” for God’s mind on your situation. God does not blame you for being an adultery victim (see Ezekiel 18:20). And God does not hold you responsible for your spouse’s sin at all (e.g. Mark 7:20-23). Further, God does not shame you for choosing or being divorced following adultery either. After all, He chose divorce under similar circumstances Himself! (see Jeremiah 3:8 and Mt. 19:9).
Do not give up on God.