Because of, NOT in spite of, my divorce…

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.

-Proverbs 4:18-19, NIV

Within evangelical Christianity, the sense I often get is how any blessing following divorce comes in spite of as opposed to because of getting divorced.

Such sense is all a part of church leaders making divorce the big, bad bogeyman (as opposed to the infidelity that led to it!).

Divorce is not.

Like a medically necessary amputation, I would NOT advise divorce in all circumstances. However, I am thankful for the subsequent life such a “surgery” has offered to me.

Because of my divorce, I have experienced blessings that I would not otherwise have experienced remaining married to my cheater.

1. How divorce positively impacted my career:

My divorce experience happened at time where my career-life looked especially bleak. Yet God used that vulnerable and painful time to refine my skills and embrace my gifts as an empathetic pastoral care provider. I became a chaplain.

Without my infidelity discovery and divorce experience, I do not believe I would be the same sort of minister that I am today. Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously certainly would not exist. Plus, I am pretty sure I would not be in my current leadership position in the non-profit world.

God used the pain of divorce and redeemed it tenfold for me in my professional career world.

2. How divorce positively impacted my personal life:

It is hard for me to imagine a life without Mrs. DM and Munchkin. Yet they never would have been a part of my life if I had not gone through the divorce.

Having a spouse who I can trust as a friend and who is fiercely loyal to me is a very, very great blessing. I know what it is like to have the opposite of those qualities in a spouse.

Plus, we have lots of fun together as a family. I am a very rich man having those two “girls” in my life!

Another added bonus to all of this is having in-laws I respect and enjoy. This is not something I take for granted from my last go around.

3. How divorce positively impacted my spiritual life:

The Gospel is no longer just known to me mentally. I know what it is to lean upon Christ for literal life during the darkest of days. The Cross has new meaning to me as someone who has born his own.

In general, I have a deeper intimacy with Jesus because of the divorce. Suffering has a way of driving us deeper into intimacy with God if we choose to let it. God, certainly, redeemed my awful experience by drawing me closer.

Finally, my faith in Jesus is not simply something I profess; the experience of divorce has fused my walk with Jesus into my very core. I sometimes get choked up talking about the Cross as I know experientially that my Jesus suffered along with me during those days.

All of this is to say that God blesses the righteous including the divorced righteous.

My God did not bless me in spite of my divorce. Rather, God took my divorce from an adulteress and used it to give wings to my future.

And if He can do that for me…