And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he let the people go. -Exodus 8:32, KJV Cheaters become cheaters by going down “The Road of Bad Choices.” They have hard hearts because they have chosen to harden their hearts just as Pharaoh did. I make this point for two reasons: 1) I suspect … Continue reading “Cheaters are active agents in choosing a hardened heart.”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Loves little.
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV Did anyone here have a cheater (or cheater defender) who was dismissive of your offer–as the victim of the adultery–to forgive? This verse attributed to Jesus comes to mind … Continue reading “Loves little.”
Todd Bentley denounced by major charismatic leaders as morally unfit for leadership
Todd Bentley is a major figure in the Charismatic Christian world whose alleged sexual immorality has disqualified him for ministry leadership per others. The leaders who wrote did the investigation into the immorality allegations and made their report include Dr. Michael Brown, Joseph Mattera, James Goll, Jane Hamon, Bishop Harry Jackson, and Don Finto. Among … Continue reading “Todd Bentley denounced by major charismatic leaders as morally unfit for leadership”
Predisposed to disbelief of the evidence
I did not want to believe it. Who, in their right mind, would want to believe their spouse was secretly having sex with another?! This is important to note for faithful spouses. We are predisposed to disbelief. To believe even very concrete evidence of sexual infidelity means dealing with the reality that your world has … Continue reading “Predisposed to disbelief of the evidence”
What a decade! Happy New Year!!!
What a decade the 2010’s were for me! I never would have scripted these years for me in the way they went down. However, I am grateful for the ending days of that decade. At the start, I was still finishing up my seminary education at Yale while married to my cheater. The next couple … Continue reading “What a decade! Happy New Year!!!”
Chapman on third party not being the cause….
“First, realize that the third person is never the full reason for separation. In fact, Guidepost 4 says that marital difficulty is caused by the marriage partners, not by someone outside the marriage….Your failures and those of your spouse brought about the crisis in your marriage.” -ONE MORE TRY by Gary Chapman, pp31-32. Oddly, I … Continue reading “Chapman on third party not being the cause….”
Taking care of self
When I was going through the deep valley of separation, adultery discovery, and divorce, I had to make conscience decisions to take care of myself. The grief is that extreme. For me, I had to remind myself to eat. If I did not do this, then I would not have eaten at all during that … Continue reading “Taking care of self”
Over that line, big time!
Have you ever done a “mind map?” As I remember them from grade school, this is a brainstorming tool where one has a main idea in a bubble then related ideas connected to that bubble to form a web like picture. I know of a situation involving a cheater who utilized this tool to figure … Continue reading “Over that line, big time!”
DM: Forged by the fire
“See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc; no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of … Continue reading “DM: Forged by the fire”
Sometimes our spirits register wrongs
When I was attending counseling sessions with my ex, I remember feeling full of panic going to these lay counselors. The time with them was upsetting to put it mildly. I suspect my anger and fear–i.e. panic–were registering danger even though my head was unable to make sense of it in the moment. God has … Continue reading “Sometimes our spirits register wrongs”