… I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8b, NLT Sometimes the marriage is over. Done. I won’t forget working out with a guy during the time of my divorce. He saw his actions as what had doomed his first marriage. This individual acknowledged that sometimes there is just “too much water under … Continue reading “Hope for cheaters, yet perhaps not for the marriage”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Divorce Minister Blog and Book: Divorce-Positive Resources for Evangelicals and Others
But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God. Nehemiah 9:31, NIV What do I mean by a “divorce-positive” resource for evangelicals? -Do I mean divorce is the answer to all marital problems? No. -Do I mean divorce is a … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Blog and Book: Divorce-Positive Resources for Evangelicals and Others”
“You HAD TO know!”
“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” “Come on, man! You HAD TO know she was cheating on you!” Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.” My response to such madness: “I don’t know what kind of … Continue reading ““You HAD TO know!””
Community Divorce Grief
Divorce impacts a community. Like the sin of adultery, it is not a private affair (see Deut. 22:22). The divorce hits the whole network of relationships. It is painful to face the reality that a couple is no longer a couple. This is doubly so when you like and connected with both spouses. This way … Continue reading “Community Divorce Grief”
Want revenge? Rebuild and make an amazing life!
Want revenge? When you are deeply hurt, it is natural to want revenge. It is natural to want to make the cheater hurt like the cheater hurt you. However, I hope you do not give into those feelings. Acknowledge them, yes. Act on them to cause actual harm, NO. The best revenge for infidelity is … Continue reading “Want revenge? Rebuild and make an amazing life!”
Marriage Stressors and Infidelity
Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage Stressors and Infidelity”
Dear DM, Misleading Meme?
Dear DM, Longtime reader here. Thank you for your good work. I recently saw a facebook post by someone that I think is misleading. It says what sinners many key bible figures were, and says God qualifies the called. I thought of you when I read it, and how you clarify God expects remorse and … Continue reading “Dear DM, Misleading Meme?”
Thoughts on HuffPo Article
An article appeared on Huffington Post on December 13th entitled: “A Therapist Explains: Can a Relationship Truly Heal After an Affair? Yes, but expect a different relationship on the other side” (Click on title to be directed to the article). It is a mailbag sort of article where someone writes in about healing from an affair … Continue reading “Thoughts on HuffPo Article”
“Failed Marriage” Usage
Divorce = “Failed Marriage” Is a marriage that ends other than in divorce thereby “successful?” I may be speaking from my own baggage or sensitivities on this. Plenty of divorced individuals seem to have no problem with this word selection. However, I do not like the word choice where “failed marriage” is used interchangeably for … Continue reading ““Failed Marriage” Usage”
Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing”