“Well, I have learned that I have to be open and honest. You never … (fill-in the cheater’s pet accusation of faithful spouse).” Cheater to pastor/couple’s counselor Does this ring a bell for anyone? If it does, I submit it does as it is part of the demonic playbook to destroy faithful spouses. To be clear, I am … Continue reading “A cheater version of “honesty””
Category: Trauma of adultery
Shaking off their dust
“But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven is at hand. … And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.” -Matthew 10:6-7, 14, … Continue reading “Shaking off their dust”
Can a cheater remarry?
“And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:12, NIV Can a cheater remarry? The simple answer to this question is “Yes.” However, the full answer is more complicated than that. If the question is whether a cheater can remarry another person without sinning, then I think the … Continue reading “Can a cheater remarry?”
Top 5 DM Posts of 2018
Top 5 Most Viewed Posts in 2018: The following posts garnered more than a thousand views each this past year. I have linked to each one with their title (just click on the title). And I have given a brief summary after each. Without further ado… 5. Kept It On to The End This is … Continue reading “Top 5 DM Posts of 2018”
Hope for cheaters, yet perhaps not for the marriage
… I divorced faithless Israel because of her adultery. -Jeremiah 3:8b, NLT Sometimes the marriage is over. Done. I won’t forget working out with a guy during the time of my divorce. He saw his actions as what had doomed his first marriage. This individual acknowledged that sometimes there is just “too much water under … Continue reading “Hope for cheaters, yet perhaps not for the marriage”
Divorce Minister Blog and Book: Divorce-Positive Resources for Evangelicals and Others
But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God. Nehemiah 9:31, NIV What do I mean by a “divorce-positive” resource for evangelicals? -Do I mean divorce is the answer to all marital problems? No. -Do I mean divorce is a … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Blog and Book: Divorce-Positive Resources for Evangelicals and Others”
“You HAD TO know!”
“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” “Come on, man! You HAD TO know she was cheating on you!” Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.” My response to such madness: “I don’t know what kind of … Continue reading ““You HAD TO know!””
Community Divorce Grief
Divorce impacts a community. Like the sin of adultery, it is not a private affair (see Deut. 22:22). The divorce hits the whole network of relationships. It is painful to face the reality that a couple is no longer a couple. This is doubly so when you like and connected with both spouses. This way … Continue reading “Community Divorce Grief”
Want revenge? Rebuild and make an amazing life!
Want revenge? When you are deeply hurt, it is natural to want revenge. It is natural to want to make the cheater hurt like the cheater hurt you. However, I hope you do not give into those feelings. Acknowledge them, yes. Act on them to cause actual harm, NO. The best revenge for infidelity is … Continue reading “Want revenge? Rebuild and make an amazing life!”
Marriage Stressors and Infidelity
Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage Stressors and Infidelity”