Dear DM, Longtime reader here. Thank you for your good work. I recently saw a facebook post by someone that I think is misleading. It says what sinners many key bible figures were, and says God qualifies the called. I thought of you when I read it, and how you clarify God expects remorse and … Continue reading “Dear DM, Misleading Meme?”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Thoughts on HuffPo Article
An article appeared on Huffington Post on December 13th entitled: “A Therapist Explains: Can a Relationship Truly Heal After an Affair? Yes, but expect a different relationship on the other side” (Click on title to be directed to the article). It is a mailbag sort of article where someone writes in about healing from an affair … Continue reading “Thoughts on HuffPo Article”
“Failed Marriage” Usage
Divorce = “Failed Marriage” Is a marriage that ends other than in divorce thereby “successful?” I may be speaking from my own baggage or sensitivities on this. Plenty of divorced individuals seem to have no problem with this word selection. However, I do not like the word choice where “failed marriage” is used interchangeably for … Continue reading ““Failed Marriage” Usage”
Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. -Galatians 6:7, NIV Setting a boundary is NOT about setting a punishment for the other person. The boundary is there to healthfully preserve you from whatever threatens your well-being. It is not a punishment. Rather, the boundary is a step towards … Continue reading “Boundary setting NOT punishment dealing”
When a cheater-ex gets remarried…
“And if a woman divorces her husband and marries someone else, she commits adultery.” -Mark 10:12, NLT Unless a biblical exception is met (like your now ex-spouse cheated on you), this holds true in a spiritual sense. The remarriage is adultery in God’s eyes. It ought not to surprise us, though, this does not deter … Continue reading “When a cheater-ex gets remarried…”
Six years later…
Today is a negative anniversary. And a positive one retrospectively. Six years ago to this day, I received a message from my divorce lawyer notifying me that my marriage to my first wife was officially and legally ended. I was officially single (and divorced). Each anniversary, the pain has been less and less. … Continue reading “Six years later…”
It’s the choices, duh!
“A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.” -Matthew 12:35-36, KJV … Continue reading “It’s the choices, duh!”
A Partnership Parable
Sometimes it is easier to understand basic morality if we frame a situation differently. We are creatures who are easily caught by our own self-justifications and own excuses. Here’s a modern day parable: John and Robert are life-long friends. Their friendship started in grade school when Robert stood up to another kid trying to take … Continue reading “A Partnership Parable”
Repentant cheaters make peace with deserved losses
I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ -Luke 15:18-19, NIV Until a cheater has made peace with the idea that their sins … Continue reading “Repentant cheaters make peace with deserved losses”
Don’t Bother.
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. -Proverbs 26:4, NIV Has your cheater stopped cheating? Has she/he confessed the extent of the infidelity in their past? Are the affair secrets out in the open? I do not see much hope for marriages ravaged by infidelity … Continue reading “Don’t Bother.”