“You have not taken care of the weak. You have not tended the sick or bound up the injured. You have not gone looking for those who have wandered away and are lost. Instead, you have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.” -Ezekiel 34:4, NLT What is more harsh or cruel than to blame–i.e. condemn–a … Continue reading “All trust torched”
Category: Trauma of adultery
New attention to looks!
New attention to their appearance A telltale sign of cheating is a new found focus on one’s appearance. This might manifest via going on a diet, increased exercise routine, or changing hair colors and style. In and of itself, this does not equate to cheating. However, the motive behind these changes is worth considering. I … Continue reading “New attention to looks!”
Boy, the stress!
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NKJV I remember going through a phase during my separation and divorce where I had to consciously remind myself to eat. The trauma from discovering the Other Man resulted in a twenty pound weight … Continue reading “Boy, the stress!”
No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!
“I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.” -I Corinthians 5:11, NLT One of the many pains associated with discovering … Continue reading “No, hanging out with Cheater is NOT okay!”
Overflow from the heart
21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person. -Mark 7:21-23, NIV Cheating did not happen overnight. An idea was planted. The Cheater watered it, and it produced the rotten … Continue reading “Overflow from the heart”
Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters
“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife, and I am not her husband. Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.” -Hosea 2:2, NIV I’ve noticed a phenomenon among pastors dealing with female Cheaters: They have a tendency to advocate for gentler confrontation with female … Continue reading “Phenomenon: Kid gloves with female Cheaters”
Shattered Self Esteem
He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. He will bring justice to all who have been wronged. -Isaiah 42:3, NLT Shattered Self Esteem One of the many stupid things about the dynamics regarding cheating is how all the sympathy often is sucked up by the Cheater. They are treated … Continue reading “Shattered Self Esteem”
Grief gets us stuck sometimes
His family all tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “I will go to my grave mourning for my son,” he would say, and then he would weep. -Genesis 37:35, NLT Grief gets us stuck sometimes. It is a lot of loss all at once to discover your spouse’s double-life. You have … Continue reading “Grief gets us stuck sometimes”
Playing the Martyr
Some Cheaters are very adept at playing the martyr. They are the aggrieved party, not you. Yes, they cheated, but they only did so because you are such an awful spouse. They are happy to tell you what they’ve allegedly been putting up with that “drove them” to cheat. They are a marriage martyr. Often times, … Continue reading “Playing the Martyr”
Stick to your “guns”
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV Stick to your “guns!” Do not waste your time with a pastor or counselor who wants to go over your marriage “troubles” while avoiding the infidelity of your spouse. This … Continue reading “Stick to your “guns””