This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading “A Powerful Quote About Trauma”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Sinning (ex) in-laws
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NLT I wonder how many of us had interfering in-laws in our marriages that ended with our Cheater. Instead of instructing their own child in the ways of the Lord, they tried to control their son … Continue reading “Sinning (ex) in-laws”
Cheater planned deception
17 “I have perfumed my bed With myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come, let us take our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with love. 19 For my husband is not at home; He has gone on a long journey….” -Proverbs 7:17-19, NKJV Unless your Cheater told you the day of the “deed,” you can be … Continue reading “Cheater planned deception”
Others’ disbelief is unhelpful
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Others’ disbelief is unhelpful”
Healing Validation
Whether it is validation through evidence or validation from another human being who sees the real injustice and names it as such, validation is a precious gift. I truly believe such validation is necessary for healing from adultery and abandonment. We need to be seen. Our pain needs to matter to someone, which includes ourselves. … Continue reading “Healing Validation”
Silence IS sin!
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV If you know something, say something. It is that simple. We are commanded to expose the “deeds of darkness,” NOT to keep them hidden. Adultery definitely qualifies as such a dark deed. Imagine learning a “friend” knew for … Continue reading “Silence IS sin!”
“Telling” to manipulate
“Telling” to Manipulate Normally, a Cheater coming “clean” with what they did is a good sign that you have something to work with (if you so choose). Yet how they disclose is important and can completely invalidate that hope. If your Cheater discloses and then launches into how you “drove them” to cheat, this is not repentance … Continue reading ““Telling” to manipulate”
Choosing a pastor
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “Choosing a pastor”
On Temporary Discomfort
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. -2 Corinthians 4:17, NIV Weight training in equipment has provided a life lesson: Pressing into the discomfort leads to joy afterwards! When you have over 700lbs/317kg hanging over you, pressure starts building in the head with … Continue reading “On Temporary Discomfort”
Yes, trusting God is worth it!
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. 6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. -Psalm 68:5-6, NIV Our God is someone who cares for the isolated and imprisoned. What I love about the Psalms is how … Continue reading “Yes, trusting God is worth it!”