It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. -Ephesians 5:12, NLT Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God. I am convinced this is true in my case. The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship … Continue reading “The Mercy of NOT Knowing EVERYTHING”
Category: Trauma of adultery
I wish I could say…
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “I wish I could say…”
Divorce Minister Ministry Judgmental?
It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:12, NLT Cheaters often try to commandeer Christianity to “justify” their abusive behavior. Inexperienced, ignorant, and sometimes just plain arrogant Christian leaders often further the spiritual abuse faithful spouses experience from … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Ministry Judgmental?”
That reconciliation longing…
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” -Matthew 23:37, NASB Following adultery discovery, a major part of the traumatic experience is the loss of relationships … Continue reading “That reconciliation longing…”
Surreal Grief
I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this post ran previously. This weekend happens to be … Continue reading “Surreal Grief”
WCF (1646): A Liberal Manifesto On Adultery and Divorce?
“Adultery or fornication, committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.” … Continue reading “WCF (1646): A Liberal Manifesto On Adultery and Divorce?”
Divorce Minister Content and Chaplaincy Incompatible?
Is engaging in this sort of ministry incompatible with professional chaplaincy? Much confusion exists about what my profession is. People know what a pastor is. They understand what a Catholic Priest is. But people generally do not understand the category of chaplain. In addition to this confusion, professional bodies are in tension over chaplaincy. On … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Content and Chaplaincy Incompatible?”
God sees the injustice!
9 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. 10 Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you. -Psalm 9:9-10, NLT Part of the struggle following infidelity discovery is how the injustice sometimes feels unseen or devalued by outsiders. Faithful spouses are … Continue reading “God sees the injustice!”
Cheating, NOT a private affair!
And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy … Continue reading “Cheating, NOT a private affair!”
Yes, we DO have a say!
The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. -I Corinthians 7:4, NLT Cheaters are known to scoff at faithful spouses’ reasonable “demands.” They love to play the card that we have no say in their associations or activities. Yet they think they … Continue reading “Yes, we DO have a say!”