For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Discovering infidelity is disorienting. What a faithful spouse needs are clear heads. What a faithful spouse does NOT need is someone feeding their disbelief over the cheating. An … Continue reading “Maddening Disbelief of Others”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Christian Leaders, All sins are not equal!
And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. – Leviticus 20:10, KJV Not all sins in a marriage are acceptable to God as worthy of ending a marriage (e.g. Mt 5:32). Not all … Continue reading “Christian Leaders, All sins are not equal!”
A biblical warning to “neutral” observers
6 Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins [sexual immorality, impurity, and greed], for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. 7 Don’t participate in the things these people do. -Ephesians 5:6-7, NLT How many people allow themselves to be fooled by cheaters and their “justifications”? Now, I am not … Continue reading “A biblical warning to “neutral” observers”
Mailbag: How does somebody just fall out of love with someone?
Hello, I’ve read a few of your articles and it helped me a lot. My ex-wife cheated and left me for another man. It was the most devastating thing I’ve ever been through. We were together for 19 years and this all happened in just the last three months or so of our marriage. We … Continue reading “Mailbag: How does somebody just fall out of love with someone?”
The Mercy of NOT Knowing EVERYTHING
It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. -Ephesians 5:12, NLT Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God. I am convinced this is true in my case. The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship … Continue reading “The Mercy of NOT Knowing EVERYTHING”
I wish I could say…
Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. -Matthew 15:14, KJV I wish I could say an older pastor will be more discerning and wiser than a younger pastor on matters of adultery and divorce. But that would be a … Continue reading “I wish I could say…”
Divorce Minister Ministry Judgmental?
It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:12, NLT Cheaters often try to commandeer Christianity to “justify” their abusive behavior. Inexperienced, ignorant, and sometimes just plain arrogant Christian leaders often further the spiritual abuse faithful spouses experience from … Continue reading “Divorce Minister Ministry Judgmental?”
That reconciliation longing…
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.” -Matthew 23:37, NASB Following adultery discovery, a major part of the traumatic experience is the loss of relationships … Continue reading “That reconciliation longing…”
Surreal Grief
I wrote this a few years ago reflecting on a college reunion. Today, I thankfully feel less entwined with those contrasting feelings since I have been back to the city of my alma mater a few more times with Mrs. DM. Obviously, a version of this post ran previously. This weekend happens to be … Continue reading “Surreal Grief”
WCF (1646): A Liberal Manifesto On Adultery and Divorce?
“Adultery or fornication, committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce, and after the divorce to marry another, as if the offending party were dead.” … Continue reading “WCF (1646): A Liberal Manifesto On Adultery and Divorce?”