Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. -Hebrews 13:4, NLT Letting go and trusting a cheater to God is tough. I think this is especially so when the cheater counsels others and works in a field where … Continue reading “When your cheater is a pastor or therapist…”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Don’t blame age!
Then Samuel asked, “Are these all the sons you have?” “There is still the youngest,” Jesse replied. “But he’s out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.” “Send for him at once,” Samuel said. “We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.” -I Samuel 16:11, NLT Not much has changed in … Continue reading “Don’t blame age!”
Watch out if she asks you for “rules!”
“This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel after that time,” declares the LORD. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.” -Jeremiah 31:33, NIV If your spouse lacks an internal moral compass, then … Continue reading “Watch out if she asks you for “rules!””
On hundreds of messages exchanged
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. -John 3:21, NIV Graphic pictures of compromising behavior seems to be almost needed to convince some pastors and Christians that a spouse is violating their … Continue reading “On hundreds of messages exchanged”
Nancy Ortberg shares her side re:Bill Hybels allegations
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. -Luke 8:17, NIV Today, Nancy Ortberg–who worked at Willow Creek Church as staff as well as a Board member of the Willow Creek Association for nine years–dropped a bomb of a … Continue reading “Nancy Ortberg shares her side re:Bill Hybels allegations”
Forgiveness is powerless to change historical facts!
It still feels strange for me to even speak about how my first marriage ended. I feel internal pressure and accusation as if speaking the facts means I have not forgiven her or am bitter. That’s a lie, by the way. But it is a hard one to shake growing up amidst a Christian subculture … Continue reading “Forgiveness is powerless to change historical facts!”
Cheater-Speak: “A friend.”
Faithful Spouse: Who is he then? Cheater: A friend. Can’t I have friends? This is a common cheater ploy. They attempt to minimize the nature of their relationship with the affair partner. He (or she) is presented as “a friend.” Then they might go on the offense accusing the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “A friend.””
On curing a bad case of “The If-Onlys”
If only… …I had lost that weight. …landed that well-paying job. …spent more time at home than working. …initiated sex more. …wore sexier underwear. …was a better listener. If only…if only…if only… When you are stuck in “the if onlys,” you are stuck in trying to control something that is outside of your control–namely, the … Continue reading “On curing a bad case of “The If-Onlys””
Is enough ever enough?
Are you not to judge those inside [the church]? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.” -I Corinthians 5:12b-13, NIV Is enough ever enough to stop enabling cheaters in the church? I am so thankful for God’s extravagant mercy and grace. It is what made the way for me to have … Continue reading “Is enough ever enough?”
Adultery situations make pastors uncomfortable!
He gives justice to the oppressed and food to the hungry. The Lord frees the prisoners. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind. The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down. The Lord loves the godly. -Psalm 146:7-8, NLT Pastors are not marriage therapists. We are pastors. Our area of training and focus deals with rightly handling Scripture. We provide emotional … Continue reading “Adultery situations make pastors uncomfortable!”