Category: Trauma of adultery

Personal Growth Or Just Blame Acceptance!

And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man. – Mark 7:20-23, KJV, (emphasis mine) When … Continue reading “Personal Growth Or Just Blame Acceptance!”

Who is served by the “reminder” to forgive the cheater?

 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on docket of things to do in the … Continue reading “Who is served by the “reminder” to forgive the cheater?”

My take on the forgiveness command found in Matthew 6:14-15

  One good thing that came out of my ex-wife’s adultery and my consequential divorce from her is that I know God’s Word much better than before particularly in regards to forgiveness and repentance. A lot of what I got from the Christian community was Matt 6:14-15: 14 For if you forgive other people when they … Continue reading “My take on the forgiveness command found in Matthew 6:14-15”

Super Stupid and Divisive

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother…. -Genesis 2:24a, NKJV Having a father-in-law (FIL) tell his son-in-law how he is “failing” as a husband and man–in general–is incredibly stupid and divisive on the part of the FIL. Something like that happened in my situation as I remember it. I look back on that … Continue reading “Super Stupid and Divisive”

Cheating Is Ultimate Entitlement Behavior!

If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, NIV Ironically, cheaters have been known to act as if the faithful spouse is the selfish one in the marriage. They lack the insight … Continue reading “Cheating Is Ultimate Entitlement Behavior!”

I count three…

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” -Job 31:1, NLT Looking back upon old emails around the time of my marriage’s demise, I am struck by how little was made of–what I now consider–my (now ex) wife’s emotionally inappropriate relationships with other men. And it was not … Continue reading “I count three…”

Cheater-speak: “He means nothing to me.”

“[The Other Man/Woman] means nothing to me.” -Cheater It curious how cheaters are willing to throw away very meaningful things–at least, for some people–like their character and marriage vows for someone who they claim “means nothing” to them. My point is such statements coming from a cheater are lies. The cheater might believe them themselves. But … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “He means nothing to me.””

God, not you, is the Source of Strength!

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. -Psalm 46:1-3, KJV Let … Continue reading “God, not you, is the Source of Strength!”

The Struggle to Let Go

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. -John 12:24, NIV Letting go of a marriage ravaged by infidelity is hard. I think it is made doubly so–unfortunately–in Christian communities because of all … Continue reading “The Struggle to Let Go”