The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. -Psalm 103:15-16, NIV Yesterday, we celebrated Ash Wednesday. It is a day when we are reminded of our mortality. “Ashes to ashes, dust … Continue reading “Life is too short!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Adultery is a sin, not a symptom!
Adultery is not a symptom but the disease. It is sin. -Adultery is not a cry for help. -Adultery is not a symptom of a bad relationship. -Adultery is not a mercy blow to a miserable marriage (as if the adulterer is “taking one for the team.”) No, no, no, NO! Adultery is sin. … Continue reading “Adultery is a sin, not a symptom!”
Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.
Dear Divorce Minister, I am a adultery (victim) survivor. I actually think my stumble onto your webpage was an answer to my prayer. Recently a minister in my large church dropped a bombshell on the congregation. He told us that his wife had had an affair, and divorced him. He never prior to this announcement … Continue reading “Mailbag: Out of the blue, my pastor announced his wife cheated on and divorced him.”
On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? … Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye…” – Matthew 7:3, 5a, NLT When I was going through my trials, I had no shortage of religious people willing to “help” me see my “sin” or … Continue reading “On Self-Righteous, Religious Pricks”
Somethings You Have To Know Yourself
A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout. -Proverbs 11:22, NLT However good you are at surveillance, you will never find a way to monitor the heart. Nor should you. A spouse ought to be able to trust that their partner will honor their vows to forsake all … Continue reading “Somethings You Have To Know Yourself”
Cannot Un-Hear the Awful News
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. -Ephesians 5:11, NIV Usually, people who have never experienced being lied to and cheated upon for months or even years do not get it! They might think the faithful spouse better off not knowing the truth about the betrayal. But I do … Continue reading “Cannot Un-Hear the Awful News”
Cheating as sin-habit.
No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. -I John 3:6, NIV Cheating as a sin-habit When talking about adultery, I suspect most people only think of the illicit sex act. Rarely, I suspect, … Continue reading “Cheating as sin-habit.”
Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?
“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…” -Cheater Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer? Of course, not. Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out … Continue reading “Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?”
Pro-Tip: Marry A Bad Liar
Pro-Tip: Marry a Bad Liar One of Mrs. DM’s many endearing traits is that she is a bad liar. I can tell when she is trying to fool me…usually. My ex-wife was (and is?) an excellent liar in my opinion. And that is not a complement. It is my observation. It was chilling how well … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Marry A Bad Liar”
Does telling destroy the marriage? No.
“We were perfectly fine as a couple before she found out I cheated. Now, she is angry with me and is threatening divorce. I blame you for this mess, because you told her!” -Cheater Husband In what alternate serious situation would we accept this sort of blame-shifting reasoning?! The whistleblower who exposes fraud and abuse … Continue reading “Does telling destroy the marriage? No.”