Category: Trauma of adultery

Cultivate the discipline of gratitude

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” – Genesis 3:1, NIV As a hospice chaplain*, I see many different sorts of people on a daily basis. Often times, my … Continue reading “Cultivate the discipline of gratitude”

Power not marriage

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. -Ephesians 5:21, NIV I am convinced some cheaters treat marriage issues as power struggles. They refuse to submit to their spouse as they find it offensive to actually “lose” in any way. To them, the idea of humbling themselves and truly repenting is repulsive. This is why … Continue reading “Power not marriage”

“The road to Hell….”

  “The road to Hell is paved… …with good intentions.” -A proverb This saying is a wise one to remember when dealing with the aftermath that comes following infidelity discovery. It applies both to the actual cheater and to those who profess they are only giving “care.” “I never intended to hurt you.” – Cheater … Continue reading ““The road to Hell….””

Hate evil! Have a heart after God’s.

Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked. – Psalm 97:10, KJV Do you love the Lord? The command here in the Psalms is rather clear: Hate evil! It is strong language. But this is what Scripture teaches us. … Continue reading “Hate evil! Have a heart after God’s.”

PSA: A partial truth is still a lie.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” – Genesis 3:1, NIV Public Service Announcement (PSA): A partial truth is still a lie. Some of the greatest … Continue reading “PSA: A partial truth is still a lie.”

How a church or denomination responds to faithful pastors getting divorced says a lot.

How evangelicals respond to tragedy in a pastor’s life says a lot about their character and real theology. It also speaks to their maturity and wisdom as a church or religious body. Sadly, I experienced and have heard many epic fails in this area. It is one thing to say that you love your pastor, and quite … Continue reading “How a church or denomination responds to faithful pastors getting divorced says a lot.”

Self-destruction of the person you married

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. -I Corinthians 6:18, NIV Adultery is self-destructive sin. It is not life-giving. It is not joy-producing. It is not (ultimately) fulfilling. God condemns this behavior for how destructive it is. He made us … Continue reading “Self-destruction of the person you married”

Not everyone is going to be reasonable.

“Now think it over and see what you can do, because disaster is hanging over our master and his whole household. He is such a wicked man that no one can talk to him.” -Servant to Abigail, I Samuel 25:17, NIV This verse comes from the story of David, Abigail, and Nabal recorded in I … Continue reading “Not everyone is going to be reasonable.”

Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues on you!

Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues on you! Cheaters are not very good at own their own behaviors. They excel at blaming others for their misdeeds. So, it should come as no surprise that the “sins” or “misdeeds” that they accused their spouses of are likely the misdeeds and sins … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues on you!”