If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater. … Continue reading “Stuck relationships”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheaters refusing to let go of “victim” identity
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A blinding pride. This is what cheaters have. They are so caught up in entitlement that they do not see or care what damage they are doing … Continue reading “Cheaters refusing to let go of “victim” identity”
Just withdrawals!
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. -Proverbs 5:18, NIV When one partner refuses to do the things that both enjoy, you know this person is already gone. Instead, this person seems fixated on berating the faithful partner about his or her “shortcomings.” This is NOT a … Continue reading “Just withdrawals!”
We could have made a list, too!
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” -I Peter 4:8, NKJV Cheaters are “good” at putting together a list of things that they do not like about their spouse. They are doing this to “justify” their infidelity and their abandonment of the marriage. The … Continue reading “We could have made a list, too!”
Oh, the difference!
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. -Proverbs 31:10, MSG Eight years ago, I was in a much different place around this time. It was the season my first marriage imploded. All sorts of horrors came forth during that season. Yet God sustained me. He was there with me … Continue reading “Oh, the difference!”
Buckle your spiritual seat belts!
For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them. -Isaiah 61:7, KJV When we think of some circumstance happening, we can easily gravitate to sudden catastrophes. That is what discovering a cheater was, after all. That … Continue reading “Buckle your spiritual seat belts!”
Reacting to a song? A clue.
I like this song. It is a catchy tune, and the fact that my (ex) wife hated the song–as I remember it–does nothing to diminish my enjoyment of this song. In fact, it probably increases it. Her dislike of the song around the time it came out makes we wonder how long she had been … Continue reading “Reacting to a song? A clue.”
Cheater-speak: “It just happened.”
“It just happened.” -Cheater This sort of explanation of an affair is a way to avoid responsibility. It is a way to ascribe the affair to causes like blizzards and tsunamis. It just happened. Natural disasters “just happen.” Sin takes an agent. If this was not so, then God would not bother telling us NOT … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “It just happened.””
Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors”
Be present when the cheater “ends” it
Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight. -Proverbs 12:22, KJV Liars lie. And cheaters by the fact that they cheated are liars. A wise person does not just take them at their word. Words need to be verified by action. I do not recommend trusting a cheater … Continue reading “Be present when the cheater “ends” it”