Category: Trauma of adultery

“I didn’t tell you, because I thought you would get angry,” says Cheater.

“I didn’t tell you, because I thought you’d get angry.” -Cheater Let’s start to unpack this “gem” of a cheater-speak: 1. The cheater is aware that what he or she did might be upsetting to the faithful spouse, yet still did it. This is another reason why I am in the camp that cheaters have full knowledge … Continue reading ““I didn’t tell you, because I thought you would get angry,” says Cheater.”

Still a virgin? Really?!

(Nora defines “fooling around” as beyond making out but short of intercourse—to her knowledge, Crist never engaged in intercourse so he could honestly say he was a virgin.) -Taylor Berglund, “John Crist Cancels 2019 Tour Dates After Reports of Sexting, Harassment, Manipulation” This sentence in the article about disgraced Christian Comedian John Crist caught my … Continue reading “Still a virgin? Really?!”

Christian Comedian John Crist Fiasco

Recently, news broke about a Christian comedian known for his parodies of the evangelical culture. John Crist canceled his tour to deal with a pattern of admitted sinful behavior towards women. If half of what is shared in the breaking article (click here) is true, Crist is a predator. The article shares stories of how … Continue reading “Christian Comedian John Crist Fiasco”

That Cheater Cycle

Anyone recognize the following cycle? Cheat.  Cheater says, “It was a ‘cry for help.’ [Insert favorite blame directed at faithful spouse].” Cheat, again. Cheater says, “Our marriage problems have nothing to do with [affair partner]. You know that you [insert favorite blame directed at faithful spouse].” Continues cheating. This cycle is nothing new. Cheaters do … Continue reading “That Cheater Cycle”

“Stuff happens” minimization

Me: “I got divorced. Then I had to go through a trial with my denomination to keep my license.” Friend: “Don’t they realize that stuff happens.” I do not recommend the “stuff happens” response to someone whose marriage has been blown up by adultery. While I appreciate this friend’s effort to be understanding, the stance … Continue reading ““Stuff happens” minimization”

PSA: Get STD Tested!

One of the most humiliating aspects of dealing with a cheater is this need to know. If a cheater is unwilling to submit to STD tests, then you have your answer as to how repentant they are–i.e. not at all. It is rather low hanging fruit–so to speak–for a cheater to provide scientifically verified assurance … Continue reading “PSA: Get STD Tested!”

Chuztpah of cheaters complaining about “communication”

“He never talks to me!” whines Cheater. I find it really rich that a cheater would complain about lack of communication from the faithful spouse. It takes a lot of prideful blindness to make such a complaint. Pure chutzpah! Remember: The cheater is perfectly fine not communicating with the faithful spouse how they are stealing … Continue reading “Chuztpah of cheaters complaining about “communication””

What if pastors and Christian counselors had “skin” in the game?

What if pastors and Christian counselors had to pay a faithful spouse $10,000 or more if they were wrong about the cheating being over?! In my opinion, faithful spouses who stay in marriages for subsequent infidelity discoveries are loosing more than just $10,000. They are loosing precious time, emotional well-being, and physical well-being (e.g. risk … Continue reading “What if pastors and Christian counselors had “skin” in the game?”