The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. -Ezekiel 18:20, KJV Some Christians think talking about “your … Continue reading “Annoying advice about “owning your part” to avoid “bitterness””
Category: Trauma of adultery
I CAN pray for their spiritual wellness.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. -Romans 12:14, NIV Pray for your abuser? Pray for your cheater? This is common advice given in Christian circles. I am not completely sure that it is good advice. That is just my opinion. I find the verse above has a context of speaking about … Continue reading “I CAN pray for their spiritual wellness.”
Financial Stability
Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. -Romans 13:8a, NLT When dealing with divorce, you are dealing with a financially devastating situation. It is painful. Maybe you set aside your career for this person? Maybe you are relying on them as you try to find your next job? Maybe you … Continue reading “Financial Stability”
On advice not to divorce because marriage is “about holiness”
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be … Continue reading “On advice not to divorce because marriage is “about holiness””
Better days ahead!
The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better days ahead!”
Anyone labelled as the problem in the marriage by the counselor?
Anyone else here given a label by a counselor identifying YOU as the marriage problem? This assumes the cheater comes to counseling. Some don’t. A problem with counselors is that some are not up on the games cheaters play. They become complicit in the act of keeping the faithful spouse off the scent of what … Continue reading “Anyone labelled as the problem in the marriage by the counselor?”
To the mountains, again
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. -Psalm 121:1-2, KJV Last time I was in Colorado, I was still married to my now (ex) wife. The times have certainly changed. This time I am here for my awesome … Continue reading “To the mountains, again”
Is that love? No. It is not.
20 If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer,that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? -I John 4:20, NLT Is this love? Lying to, abusing, stealing, and otherwise risking the well-being of another. Of course, not. This … Continue reading “Is that love? No. It is not.”
Silver Lining about friends following cheating revelations
A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. -Proverbs 17:7, NLT A blessing in disguise with cheating revelation is how that awful news exposes ones true friends verses erstwhile “friends.” I am SOOOO grateful for the many friends who passed that fire-test. These are people who stood … Continue reading “Silver Lining about friends following cheating revelations”
“It doesn’t matter what she did,” says cheater apologist.
“It doesn’t matter what she did. You need to focus on your own sins.” – Cheater Apologist This sort of response is the very definition of dismissive. It has all the appearance of godliness without the substance. Of course, adultery–i.e. the victimization of faithful spouses–matters to God! When someone responds by being dismissive of adultery or … Continue reading ““It doesn’t matter what she did,” says cheater apologist.”