How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14b, NLT Some Christians expect faithful spouses to remain “friends” with their cheating ex-partner following divorce. This is insane! The expectation is wound up in a twisted and perverted understanding of what forgiveness demands in this situation. Guess what? … Continue reading “So NOT friends with ex!”
Category: Trauma of adultery
The proper biblical label of adultery is “evil!”
“If a man is discovered committing adultery, both he and the woman must die. In this way, you will purge Israel of such evil.” -Deuteronomy 22:22, NLT What Christians need to understand is that adultery is truly evil! This is not “second fiddle” to divorce. Adultery is the main event in the evil performance. This … Continue reading “The proper biblical label of adultery is “evil!””
PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!
And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful. -Matthew 19:9, NLT It mystified me why good Christian pastors ever needed to hear more to the story of my marriage’s ending than verification that my ex-wife had committed adultery (and I hadn’t). The probing … Continue reading “PSA: Adultery alone can cause divorce!”
Tantrums and cheater unhappiness
When a cheater is told “No,” they will likely get angry. They may even engage in a toddler tantrum. That is about their maturity level after all. An important lesson for faithful spouses to learn is how we are not responsible for how our cheater feels. We are responsible for our own emotions and actions … Continue reading “Tantrums and cheater unhappiness”
Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!”
“‘If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress are to be put to death.’” -Leviticus 20:10, NIV “Don’t throw away your marriage over this,” the well-meaning pastor tells the sobbing faithful spouse upon discovery of the adulterous double life of their spouse. He misses … Continue reading “Awful Advice: “Don’t throw away your marriage over this!””
Rejection happened to Jesus, too!
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! -Matthew 23:37, KJV What did Jesus do that “made” Jerusalem reject him? Nothing. The point of this is to highlight … Continue reading “Rejection happened to Jesus, too!”
Is remarriage after divorce adultery?
Comment: Thank you for your blog – it has been so encouraging to me as a Christian walking through the pain of what appears to be an impending divorce following my unrepentant husband’s adultery. I was wondering what the Bible suggests about remarriage in such cases (I have been taught the traditional viewpoint that any … Continue reading “Is remarriage after divorce adultery?”
The Joy of Independence
Dealing with an (unwanted) divorce can leave one focusing on losses… …yet there are gains as well. On this July 4th, I want to highlight the gains of independence. I remember enjoying that independence after divorce. It was a truly nice gift. Enjoying our independence following a divorce from a cheater is an important step … Continue reading “The Joy of Independence”
Adultery is not self-care; it’s self-damage.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:6a, NIV The cheater approaching the affair as “self-care” or something “finally, for ME!” is self-deceived. You cannot sin against the marriage without also sinning against yourself. This is what the Judeo-Christian concept of marriage teaches us. The marriage partners are ONE. An affair certainly is … Continue reading “Adultery is not self-care; it’s self-damage.”
An adultery victim AND so much more!
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV While adultery victims are not less than victims of their cheaters, they are also more. They are FAITHFUL SPOUSES! SURVIVORS. Just because we have been cheated upon does not mean … Continue reading “An adultery victim AND so much more!”