“We both know our marriage was in trouble for years. The affair wasn’t really the issue. It was just an exit affair.” -Cheater I hate how people minimize the damage of adultery by labeling some affairs: “exit affairs.” Does it make it less of a sin in God’s eyes if it was an “exit affair?” … Continue reading ““Exit Affair” nonsense”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Cheaters and their God-sized problem
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. -Psalm 51:4, NIV You cry out, “Why doesn’t the LORD accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the LORD witnessed the vows you and your wife made … Continue reading “Cheaters and their God-sized problem”
Most Reasonable of Expectations
“…let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts….” -Hosea 2:2b, KJV A Faithful Spouse’s Reasonable Expectation: The cheater ends the affair(s)–both physical and emotional varieties–and engages in actions demonstrating self-work on the character flaws that led the cheater to betray their partner. This expectation needs … Continue reading “Most Reasonable of Expectations”
Assigning blame for the divorce, why bother?
“For I, the LORD, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them.” -Isaiah 61:8, NLT When I was going through my ecclesiastical trial to keep my ministerial credentials, someone I trusted asked me why my former denomination was so fixated … Continue reading “Assigning blame for the divorce, why bother?”
Does the Old Testament say to stone the faithful spouse as well?!
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT I am not for bringing back the death penalty for adultery. Ok?! The point of quoting this verse is to expose the absurdity of blaming faithful spouses for … Continue reading “Does the Old Testament say to stone the faithful spouse as well?!”
Awful book published by Focus on the Family(TM) on infidelity
How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage after Infidelity by Tina Konkin I was shocked and saddened by the recent publication of this book (July 9, 2019) by a source that helped me during my ordeal with an unfaithful spouse. The book description is so awful; I have no plans to buy the … Continue reading “Awful book published by Focus on the Family(TM) on infidelity”
That feeling…
When a spouse announces divorce, the feeling can be devastating. I know that is how I felt when my ex made the announcement about seeing a divorce attorney. The loss of dreams, security, and future are incredible. It is not surprising such news can put a faithful spouse in shock. Shock is a normal grief … Continue reading “That feeling…”
“Bad Christian.” Ok.
“You’re a ‘bad Christian’ for not doing ….” -Cheater This shaming label used to make me jump to do my ex and others’ bidding. I did not want to be seen as a “bad Christian.” Then I wised up to the source. Is an unrepentant adulteress really qualified to wield such a label? Really?! I … Continue reading ““Bad Christian.” Ok.”
Other people can be wrong. Let them!
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! -Isaiah 5:20, KJV Part of the injustice faithful spouses often experience is a community of people–even confessing Christians–who will not accept what happened. Some might even accept … Continue reading “Other people can be wrong. Let them!”
Mismatched values as in light and darkness
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? -2 Corinthians 6:14, KJV Whether one is abandoned or cheated on or both, the reality for faithful spouses is as stark as this verse from 2 Corinthians paints it. Light cannot fellowship with … Continue reading “Mismatched values as in light and darkness”