Comment: Thank you for your blog – it has been so encouraging to me as a Christian walking through the pain of what appears to be an impending divorce following my unrepentant husband’s adultery. I was wondering what the Bible suggests about remarriage in such cases (I have been taught the traditional viewpoint that any … Continue reading “Is remarriage after divorce adultery?”
Category: Trauma of adultery
The Joy of Independence
Dealing with an (unwanted) divorce can leave one focusing on losses… …yet there are gains as well. On this July 4th, I want to highlight the gains of independence. I remember enjoying that independence after divorce. It was a truly nice gift. Enjoying our independence following a divorce from a cheater is an important step … Continue reading “The Joy of Independence”
Adultery is not self-care; it’s self-damage.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. -Matthew 19:6a, NIV The cheater approaching the affair as “self-care” or something “finally, for ME!” is self-deceived. You cannot sin against the marriage without also sinning against yourself. This is what the Judeo-Christian concept of marriage teaches us. The marriage partners are ONE. An affair certainly is … Continue reading “Adultery is not self-care; it’s self-damage.”
An adultery victim AND so much more!
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7, KJV While adultery victims are not less than victims of their cheaters, they are also more. They are FAITHFUL SPOUSES! SURVIVORS. Just because we have been cheated upon does not mean … Continue reading “An adultery victim AND so much more!”
A stupid thing Christians say: “But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.”
“Sure, she had an affair. But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.” -A Stupid Thing Christians Say I have heard or read a version of this statement more than once. It seems like a common mindset some have–even pastors–towards faithful spouses. It is a subtle blame-shift (or not so subtle). For … Continue reading “A stupid thing Christians say: “But you made it easy for her to cheat on you.””
Cheater: “The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….”
![Cheater: “The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….”](https://i0.wp.com/www.divorceminister.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/wp-15588016502656319079600203094005.jpg?fit=1200%2C672&ssl=1)
“The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….” -Cheater What this really means is the cheating is irrelevant to the cheater narrative where they are the victim and the faithful spouse is the “aggressor.” This is like a shooter telling the police not to focus on the fact of him stabbing the victim … Continue reading “Cheater: “The [cheating] really is irrelevant to our marriage problems. You….””
“Well, you MUST HAVE known.”
“Well, you MUST HAVE known he was cheating on you.” -Christian “friend” This sort of response to infidelity discovery is odd to me. Whether we had an idea or not, that does not change the wrongness of the cheater committing adultery and lying about it. Does the embezzler get a pass if his victim has … Continue reading ““Well, you MUST HAVE known.””
Death leading to new life
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. -John 12:24, NKJV Death is not pleasant. I do not care how prepared one is. We were not made to die; rather, we were made to live … Continue reading “Death leading to new life”
“Thou shalt not commit adultery” is far from unclear, folks!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV When an adulterous spouse feigns ignorance or confusion over the ending of their marriage, it is a ploy to avoid taking responsibility. This isn’t rocket science, folks! God does not command the ending of a marriage over adultery in the Old Testament to signal such sin is … Continue reading ““Thou shalt not commit adultery” is far from unclear, folks!”
Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over!
Cheaters sometimes claim they were free to cheat because “the marriage was over.” Some even say this even though they were attending couple’s counseling with a therapist and/or pastor. The faithful spouse was kept in the dark during this time, obviously. Public Service Announcement: Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over! … Continue reading “Cheaters, attending couple’s sessions is NOT signaling the marriage is over!”