Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV How can you miss it that bad?! How can someone read and understand the Bible yet treat adultery as a “regrettable footnote” to a marriage ending? It astounds me … Continue reading “Adultery is the main event, NOT a “regrettable footnote” to the marriage’s demise.”
Category: Trauma of adultery
Old Testament Polygamy Loophole?
“I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.” -2 Samuel 12:8, NIV What do we make of God saying that He would have given King David more … Continue reading “Old Testament Polygamy Loophole?”
Ring Bellwether
When a cheater goes on vacation and removes her wedding ring, you can be sure she is emotionally unfaithful (and likely more). The wedding ring minds us and others that we are married. It is a symbol that helps signal socially that the person is unavailable. A person choosing to remove this article and “forget” … Continue reading “Ring Bellwether”
A fire forged friendship with God
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. -Isaiah 43:2, NLT What makes me so devoted to following Jesus? Like numerous … Continue reading “A fire forged friendship with God”
Courageous Confrontation Gift
It isn’t my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your responsibility to judge those inside the church who are sinning. -I Corinthians 5:12, NLT The path of least resistance with a cheater “friend” is to agree with their sob-story over how they “were driven” to cheat on their spouse. But that is NOT the … Continue reading “Courageous Confrontation Gift”
Unspoken.
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. -Romans 12:15, KJV When divorce is condemned as a whole from the pulpit, this means all divorce is condemned. Left unspoken is the acknowledgement of those who find themselves divorced against their will and those divorced because they married an abusive, adulterous spouse. Because those … Continue reading “Unspoken.”
“Move on,” Privilege speaks.
“You need to move on,” says the Privileged. When something as traumatic as a surviving the adultery and divorce from a cheater happens, you are forever marked. Over time, I have found the scars fade. However, they will always be there. People pushing for one to “move on” are pushing denial of these scars. It … Continue reading ““Move on,” Privilege speaks.”
Unseen = Faithful spouses when pastors talk about divorce.
“For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. -Malachi 2:16a, NKJV If an evangelical pastor talks about divorce, he usually references this verse out of context. Like a club, it is used to keep people from **gasp!** divorcing. It does not work. And it has … Continue reading “Unseen = Faithful spouses when pastors talk about divorce.”
When “good” is NOT an option for us
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV What drives me nuts about how some pastors speak of divorce is how they assume a “good” option is left on the table for a faithful spouse. Sadly, following infidelity this just isn’t the case! The faithful … Continue reading “When “good” is NOT an option for us”
Impulsive one?! Really?!
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce…. -Jeremiah 3:8a, KJV What I find curious in cases with adultery is how the Christian community is so quick to press against the faithful spouse choosing divorce as if this … Continue reading “Impulsive one?! Really?!”