My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” -Psalm 42:3, NIV The pain will pass. I know this is cold comfort in the middle of your pain. It is hard to think of a new world without your spouse and losing everything that … Continue reading “The pain WILL pass!”
Category: Cheating
Restitution reveals real sorry
Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT Sorry is a beginning. A true, real sorry is one backed by actions demonstrating an effort … Continue reading “Restitution reveals real sorry”
Key Repentance
4 Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” -Luke 13:4-5, NIV Repentance is clearly assumed as necessary before forgiveness and salvation according to Jesus’ own words … Continue reading “Key Repentance”
Marshalling Against You
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. -I Peter 4:8, NLT Marshalling Against You Some Cheaters plan out their exit with great forethought. They take advantage of extended family time–like over Thanksgiving holiday–to prepare family to be sympathetic to them during the discard. … Continue reading “Marshalling Against You”
Effort Involved
She hides and waits like a robber, eager to make more men unfaithful. -Proverbs 23:28, NLT For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity. In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the … Continue reading “Effort Involved”
Cheater labels you “the problem”
When a cheater is done with their spouse, they will treat the spouse as “The Problem.” This is a dangerous time for the faithful spouse because this is when they experience the full contempt of the cheater. Sadly, many pastors and other counselors egg the cheater to say more contemptuous things about the faithful spouse … Continue reading “Cheater labels you “the problem””
Strong Medicine Needed
“Nice” does not work with someone who has doubled down on destruction. If someone is about to run off a cliff, we don’t worry about saying a “harsh” word but rather–those who care–shout to get them to stop running. That is loving. Quietly objecting is not. The one running to their own destruction needs to … Continue reading “Strong Medicine Needed”
World Blown Apart
World Blown Apart Discovering marital infidelity is a discovery that blows apart one’s world. It upends the assumptions of safety one oriented life around. No longer can you trust your most intimate partner for anything. They have harmed you in deep ways that only they could. Such a betrayal! It is disorienting. What is my … Continue reading “World Blown Apart”
Faith is key!
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1, NIV But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. -Hebrews 11:6, KJV Faith … Continue reading “Faith is key!”
Stuck Phenomenon
Stuck Phenomenon Something I’ve noticed over the years working with faithful spouses is how Cheaters often stay stuck in the same cycles. They do not mature. Cheaters want to rehash the same arguments with us over and over again. This makes sense as they are trying to solve something that can only be solved through … Continue reading “Stuck Phenomenon”