You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. -Romans 5:6, NIV “At just the right time” I think we are conditioned as a species to think the “right time” is when we are able to “save ourselves.” We think that is when a partnership with God is appropriate. … Continue reading “Yes “….at just the right time””
Category: Cheating
Rebuilding Trust
Rebuilding trust WITH YOURSELF! If you are at all like I was, it was particularly disorienting making all the awful discoveries knowing the infidelity had been going on for some time. While it obliterated trust with one’s Cheater, it also undermined one’s own trust in self. How could I have missed this for so long? … Continue reading “Rebuilding Trust”
Misplaced Anger
God is a righteous judge, a God who displays his wrath every day. -Psalm 7:11, NIV Misplaced Anger Have you ever been the target of your Cheater’s misplaced anger? Or should I call it rage? They decided that YOU are the obstacle to their GREAT HAPPINESS! If only you were different or behaved different or weren’t … Continue reading “Misplaced Anger”
Slipping up
“But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.” -Numbers 32:23, NIV A slip. An admission is made. The veil of lies is lifted for a brief moment of truth-telling. Then it is back to the old games of … Continue reading “Slipping up”
Cheater Still Blaming Spouse
“Sure, I cheated in the past. But I sorted that with my individual therapist. We agreed my emotional affair was really just a symptom of my marriage problems,” says Cheater. So much of the pastoral or other Christian counseling is biased towards “saving” the marriage. This bias can lead to the pastor glossing over a … Continue reading “Cheater Still Blaming Spouse”
A Powerful Quote About Trauma
This past week I was blessed to spend time up at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. It was a wonderful time of memory making and relaxation with family. When I was driving back home yesterday, I was listening to an audio book. In particular, I am going through When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your … Continue reading “A Powerful Quote About Trauma”
Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee
“’I am innocent, but it makes no difference to me— I despise my life. Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God. That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’” -Job 9:21-22, NLT Ever noticed the pressure among Christians to talk about “our part” when our marriages end in divorce–even … Continue reading “Expectations: Model Christian Divorcee”
Prideful Cheaters
As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6b, NLT The spiritually fatal flaw of Cheaters is their pride. They behave as if they know better than everyone, including God. Such individuals are beyond hope until they are humbled. Humility is essential for godliness. A Cheater bereft of … Continue reading “Prideful Cheaters”
The Discard Narrative
The Discard Narrative Cheaters are adept at crafting narratives to suit their nefarious purposes. They tell others and themselves all sort of wicked things about their faithful spouse while trying to keep their mark–i.e. the faithful spouse–off the scent of their infidelities. When faced with counterfactual information, they will dismiss those facts about their faithful … Continue reading “The Discard Narrative”
Sinning (ex) in-laws
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. -Ephesians 6:4, NLT I wonder how many of us had interfering in-laws in our marriages that ended with our Cheater. Instead of instructing their own child in the ways of the Lord, they tried to control their son … Continue reading “Sinning (ex) in-laws”