The Lord will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the Lord your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. -Deuteronomy 28:13, NIV Why is divorce treated from the pulpit as worse than enduring unrepentant adultery in … Continue reading “Speculating on why divorce is treated as worse”
Category: Cheating
Give up on being the “model victim”
3 Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. 4 Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked. -Psalm 82:3-4, NIV Do you ever feel like you have to be the “model victim” when sharing your adultery abuse story with other Christians? This might manifest … Continue reading “Give up on being the “model victim””
Cheater Speak: “I made a mistake…”
“It was a mistake. Come on! Give me a break.” -Cheater Adultery is far more than “a mistake.” The word just makes me cringe internally when I see or hear it used to talk about infidelity. In one sense, the word is accurate. The person did something wrong. A “mistake” highlights that. However, the word … Continue reading “Cheater Speak: “I made a mistake…””
Adultery Tolerant Churches
Boasting over your tolerance of sin is inappropriate. -I Corinthians 5:6a, TPT Some churches welcome adulterous spouses. They have no shame about this behavior. In fact, they celebrate how welcoming they are to these folks. It truly is head-scratching to think they see this sort of behavior as a faithful witness to how God wants … Continue reading “Adultery Tolerant Churches”
Valuable Integrity
Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold. -Proverbs 22:1, NLT When a spouse cheats, they destroy their reputation. They demonstrate a lack of integrity. People learning of this reality is not the problem. It is the bad actions that are! Many cheaters are upset about … Continue reading “Valuable Integrity”
More troubled by divorce than adultery
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV In some Christian circles, the only unpardonable sin in a marriage is filing for divorce. Everything else might be frowned upon but does not receive the vitriol from the pulpit that choosing divorce does. Such priorities are evidence of idolatry as this is not how God treats … Continue reading “More troubled by divorce than adultery”
Yes, they could. They did!
20 My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. 21 His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords. -Psalm 55:20-21, NIV The shock is real. You thought you were married to one person, and their behavior is revealing them to … Continue reading “Yes, they could. They did!”
Cheater Rage
If a wise person goes to court with a fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace. -Proverbs 29:9, NIV Cheaters hate your boundaries. They despise accountability. They want what they want, and they want it NOW! I say this to remind you that their anger does NOT mean you are in … Continue reading “Cheater Rage”
Too trusting and naive
“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” -I Corinthians 13:11, NIV Most of my fellow pastors are ill-equipped to handle situations where adultery is present. Seminary trains us … Continue reading “Too trusting and naive”
I doubt it.
Even a child is known by his doings, Whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. -Proverbs 20:11, KJV Do I think my Cheater (and her sinful cohorts) have changed for the better? I doubt it. Character does not change overnight. My last contact with my ex-wife had her stuck in arguing realities … Continue reading “I doubt it.”