When a wicked man comes, contempt also comes,And with dishonor comes scorn. -Proverbs 18:3, NASB When a cheater shows contempt for you, it is time to leave the relationship. I am talking more than simply the act of cheating–which is truly an act of contempt. Rather, I am talking about interactions with the cheater where they express … Continue reading “Contempt signals, “It’s over!””
Category: Emotional Affair
Lectured by a cheater
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” -Genesis 3:12, NIV Ever notice how quick the cheater is to talk about what “you owe” them?! The last thing they want to do is face the mirror and see their own shortcomings. In … Continue reading “Lectured by a cheater”
Cheater-Speak: “I protected YOUR reputation with our friends.”
“I protected YOUR reputation with our friends,” says Cheater. The assumption here is the faithful spouse will lie for the cheater in order to make them look good to their mutual friends. I say lie because telling these friends a different reason than the infidelity being behind the divorce (or severe marriage struggles) is a … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I protected YOUR reputation with our friends.””
Towards fixing Protestantism’s failings on forgiveness and supporting adultery victims
So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great. -Job 2:13, KJV Protestantism is big on sin and forgiveness. Emphasis on sin and forgiveness is pervasive through evangelical teaching and preaching. That is … Continue reading “Towards fixing Protestantism’s failings on forgiveness and supporting adultery victims”
Extreme Fidelity
The common counsel about rebuilding infidelity ravaged marriages is to look to unmet needs. This is hogwash! Just consider all the “unmet” needs of spouses over generations. If “unmet needs” is what causes infidelity, then all those marriages ought have been infidelity riddled…but they weren’t. The Bible is crystal clear that sin arises out of … Continue reading “Extreme Fidelity”
Souls endure, not marriages
For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. -Matthew 22:30, KJV This verse is very clear. Jesus tells us human marriage does not endure in heaven. Since this is true, spiritual counsel ought to take this into account. The priority ought to … Continue reading “Souls endure, not marriages”
Anchoring our hearts on truth
Sometimes cheaters will push us off our balance with their confident lies. The antidote to lies is truth. Our journey to healthy spirituality is a journey of growing deeper in our understanding of truth. Truth is reality. Cheaters deal in fiction and lies. Some have been dealing in such worlds so long that they have … Continue reading “Anchoring our hearts on truth”
Pastors as spiritual advisers, NOT dictators!
11 No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit. 12 And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. -1 Corinthians 2:11-12, NLT A good pastor understands he (or … Continue reading “Pastors as spiritual advisers, NOT dictators!”
Ambiguous Loss Article
Today, I came across an article (click here) that labels divorce as an “ambiguous loss.” When I saw the article, I thought of how having a name for it might help some who read here. To be clear, I do not agree with the advice the author gives to the person who made the advice … Continue reading “Ambiguous Loss Article”
Shameless sinners
But the Lord is still there in the city, and he does no wrong.Day by day he hands down justice, and he does not fail. But the wicked know no shame. -Zephaniah 3:5, NLT Shameful behavior deserves to be treated as shameful behavior. I believe in unconditional love. However, I do believe we must reject a life of shameful … Continue reading “Shameless sinners”