“Sure, I cheated. But that is not what killed our marriage. You…” -Cheater Is someone who shoots and kills a cancer patient less of a murderer because his victim had cancer? Of course, not. Generally speaking, we do not waste weeks and months trying to figure out what killed someone when they obviously bled out … Continue reading “Thinking Critically: Is someone less culpable for murder if their victim has cancer?”
Category: Emotional Affair
Does telling destroy the marriage? No.
“We were perfectly fine as a couple before she found out I cheated. Now, she is angry with me and is threatening divorce. I blame you for this mess, because you told her!” -Cheater Husband In what alternate serious situation would we accept this sort of blame-shifting reasoning?! The whistleblower who exposes fraud and abuse … Continue reading “Does telling destroy the marriage? No.”
Weedy Thinking
The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced. -Matthew 13:22, NLT Like the good gospel seed, a marriage that ends in adulterous betrayal did not … Continue reading “Weedy Thinking”
Not Craftier Than God!
…and be sure your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23b, KJV He catches the wise in their craftiness, and the schemes of the wily are swept away. -Job 5:13, NIV From my cheater’s response in the initial confrontation over her adulterous affair, I am convinced she thought I would never discover her cheating. She … Continue reading “Not Craftier Than God!”
Film Grading, Critical Errors, and Understanding Infidelity
After a Saturday football game, my college coaches would take the game “film” and grade how each of us–athletes–performed in that contest. One category used in their film grading system was called “critical errors.” This label was reserved for mistakes so big that the mistake caused the play to fail. For an offensive lineman, a … Continue reading “Film Grading, Critical Errors, and Understanding Infidelity”
“I said it was a mistake!”
I said it was a mistake. What more do you want me to say?! -Cheater What drives me nuts with some Christians is how a cheater admitting to “a mistake” is enough for them. They take the bait, then they turn on the faithful spouse to figure out what he or she did or didn’t … Continue reading ““I said it was a mistake!””
Does through ‘better or worse’ include infidelity?
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT Does staying married through ‘better or worse’ include through infidelity? Short answer: No. Here’s the longer, biblical reasons I say that… I quote Leviticus 20:10 not to suggest that we … Continue reading “Does through ‘better or worse’ include infidelity?”
But what about the damage to their reputation?!
“Keep it as quiet as possible. Just think about the damage done to other relationships if you tell them she cheated on you [aka the truth].” -Standard (Awful) Advice Such concern for the damage of relationships is too in coming late. Actions reveal character. Character often shapes reputation. If a cheater wanted a good reputation, … Continue reading “But what about the damage to their reputation?!”
Disagreeing with “Duck Dynasty” Al and Lisa Robertson on Divorce
A reader sent me an article promoting a book by Al and Lisa Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” fame. In the article “Al and Lisa Robertson: Rebuilding After an Affair,” the story of Lisa’s repeated infidelity is shared along with their advice to couples to remain married even after adultery. The article bothered the reader sending … Continue reading “Disagreeing with “Duck Dynasty” Al and Lisa Robertson on Divorce”
Re: Comment on “I hate the movie ‘Fireproof'”
In a comment on my post, “I hate the movie ‘Fireproof,’” Katygirl wrote: I’m thankful that God uses all things for those who love him and are called according to His purpose. I am also thankful that the teaching fundamental of this movie and book are that love covers a multitude of sins. I don’t … Continue reading “Re: Comment on “I hate the movie ‘Fireproof’””