Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. -Proverbs 12:18, NLT Please, faithful spouse, do not rely upon the words of your cheater for your identity (or healing)! A cheater is a liar as one cannot cheat without lying. This calls all their words into question. Knowing this about them … Continue reading “Worthless Words”
Category: Emotional Affair
Godly and reasonable to expect the cheating to stop!
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Restored, godly marriages resurrected after the destruction of adultery are rare. Cheaters would have to change character for this to happen. Such change is painful and hard. That is not the path most cheaters take. Shortcuts are … Continue reading “Godly and reasonable to expect the cheating to stop!”
Adultery is always sin!
Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV So much energy is often spent trying to “understand” why a cheater cheated. Such energy–especially in churches–is better spent teaching what the Bible teaches–namely, adultery is ALWAYS unacceptable. Circumstances matter not. Adultery is ALWAYS sin. I wonder how many marriages would have been saved this trauma (and … Continue reading “Adultery is always sin!”
“Fireproof” teaches toleration and enabling of marital infidelity!
For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. – 2 Timothy 4:3, NLT Around 2010, a major marital craze went through the American, evangelical church … Continue reading ““Fireproof” teaches toleration and enabling of marital infidelity!”
Stopping is NOT enough!
When a cheater stops the affair, this is not enough. They need to take further action. It is like an alcoholic who stops drinking. This is good. However, the alcoholic who is not actively dealing with their issues connected to drinking is not in recovery. A cheater who does not deal with the lies he … Continue reading “Stopping is NOT enough!”
Cheater-Speak: “I needed a break from our marriage.”
“Why did you take off your wedding ring?” asks Faithful Spouse. “I needed a break from reminders of our marriage,” says Cheater. Cheaters freely entered into the marriage–and marriage means a lifelong commitment. You do not get breaks from needing to honor this commitment. This sort of response from a Cheater seeking “a break” is … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I needed a break from our marriage.””
Pro-Tip: Cheater attendance does not mean the affair is over!
Just because a cheater has agreed to see a Christian counselor or pastor to work on the marriage does not necessarily mean the cheater has ended the affair. It boggles my mind to think a cheater would attend Christian marriage counseling with a therapist or pastor while secretly continuing to cheat. But it happens! I know … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Cheater attendance does not mean the affair is over!”
Failing to learn from Job’s friends: “The Assessment”
As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. -Job 4:8, NIV “The Assessment” Within the evangelical culture, the belief that the faithful spouse did something “to deserve” the adulterous desertion of their partner is all too prevalent. They have not learned from this erroneous assessment by one of Job’s … Continue reading “Failing to learn from Job’s friends: “The Assessment””
Their toasted conscience
But the [Holy] Spirit explicitly and unmistakably declares that in later times some will turn away from the faith…[misled] by the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared as with a branding iron [leaving them incapable of ethical functioning]…. -I Timothy 4:1a,2, AMP When a cheater is telling their spouse, pastor, and/or Christian counselor that … Continue reading “Their toasted conscience”
Robbed of that safety and security
One of the losses that comes with adultery discovery is the loss of a safety and security. No longer can you trust your spouse against the world. This is a big loss. It is hard to compute often times. We have committed our lives to this person only to be so deeply betrayed. It is … Continue reading “Robbed of that safety and security”