When a spouse is more concerned about the feelings of a “friend” than the feelings of their spouse, you know they have crossed the line emotionally with this “friend.” Such a response is very telling and revealing. When a “friend” takes priority over a spouse, you know something is seriously out of whack. That is … Continue reading “Upset “friend” not having fun”
Category: Emotional Affair
Response Tells You They’re Lying About You
Faithful Spouse: [Setting a healthy boundary] “Our relationship is over. We won’t be friends any more, unless you end it with John [Affair Partner] and work to convince me you’ve shut the door to all others.” Cheater: “You’re being so manipulative. Fine. I guess we won’t be friends.” …one month passes with minimal to zero … Continue reading “Response Tells You They’re Lying About You”
Divorce and those narrative gaps
When we divorce our cheater, faithful spouses often do not know the full story (and probably won’t ever). This is one of the traumatic aspects of marrying a cheater. They have all the knowledge of who and when they slept with someone else. But they are unwilling to give that to information to their spouse. … Continue reading “Divorce and those narrative gaps”
Get a good lawyer
When going through a divorce, I would recommend getting a good divorce lawyer for the process. Think of it as an investment in your future. You do not want to be surprised after the fact with issues that you cannot fixed once divorced. I understand that divorce lawyers make more money as it gets more … Continue reading “Get a good lawyer”
I envy (am impressed by) some faithful spouses!
I envy some faithful spouses. The cheater cheats on them, gets discovered, and the faithful spouse does not even blink an eye in telling that cheater it is over. They refuse to be treated like that. They exercise their permission to divorce without looking back. That wasn’t me. I suspect many of us did what … Continue reading “I envy (am impressed by) some faithful spouses!”
Repentance required to avoid Hell
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -2 Peter 3:9, NIV While this verse is more about Christ’s second coming, I figure it is a good verse to talk about end things in general. … Continue reading “Repentance required to avoid Hell”
Cheater-Speak: “I’m not divorcing you because of him.”
“I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].” -Adulteress Busted. And then the cheater busts out this mind messing statement. What is the cheater doing by making such a statement? They are doing several things. All them are bad, of course. In general, it is a particularly heinous thing for a cheater to say after … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “I’m not divorcing you because of him.””
They do not get to decide for you…
Your cheater does not get to decide for you… …whether their cheating is a big deal (or deal breaker) for you. That is YOURS to decide. Now, I understand many a cheater will TRY to decide this for you. They will tell you all sort of lies about how the cheating is merely a symptom. … Continue reading “They do not get to decide for you…”
Manipulators with mad skills are cheaters
Test all things; hold fast what is good. -I Thessalonians 5:21, NKJV A master manipulator knows how to take a potential weakness and work it into a strength. They know how to leverage a situation. Cheaters are master manipulators, IMO. The speed at which a cheater can turn a confession of infidelity into a discussion … Continue reading “Manipulators with mad skills are cheaters”
Emotional healing takes great time.
Probably the hardest part of healing from a divorce from a cheater are the lingering emotional wounds from that marriage. You have to find a way to ground yourself in reality. The truth is what will set you free from the cheater’s lies about you and your marriage. In other words, this reality is a … Continue reading “Emotional healing takes great time.”