“C’mon, man, you MUST have known!” says Anxious Outsider.

“You HAD TO know he was cheating on you!” -Anxious Outsider “Come on, man! You must have known she was cheating on you!” -Anxious Outsider Outsiders might feel entitled to give their advice unsolicited. They might feel threatened by their vulnerability and trot out these “gems.”   My response to such madness: “I don’t know … Continue reading ““C’mon, man, you MUST have known!” says Anxious Outsider.”

Darkness cannot overcome Light!

And this Light never fails to shine through darkness—     Light that darkness could not overcome. -John 1:5, TPT Sometimes we need reminders. When we are surrounded by the darkness, it is good to remember that God’s light overcomes the darkness. Always. The darkness does not win. It cannot overcome the light. This is the hope … Continue reading “Darkness cannot overcome Light!”

Pining after your cheater? Rebuild your life and leave them as an unpleasant footnote.

So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Pining after your cheater? Rebuild your life and leave them as an unpleasant footnote.”

Marriage stress does NOT cause infidelity!

Money issues do not cause adultery. Lack of “communication” does not cause adultery. Emotional or physical distance does not cause adultery. Even one spouse committing adultery does not cause the other’s adultery. _________ All of these things put tremendous stress on the relationship. In the case of adultery, it is a death blow to what … Continue reading “Marriage stress does NOT cause infidelity!”

I discourage dating while still married.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…. -Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV So, you decided to divorce your cheater. However, you are still married. Please do not date during this limbo period. You will have plenty of time to do this after the divorce is finalized. This is a good … Continue reading “I discourage dating while still married.”

A cheater worrying about you “forever holding it against” them

“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “A cheater worrying about you “forever holding it against” them”

The greatest virtue deficit for cheaters

 And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud     but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. -James 4:6-7, NLT PRIDE… …is the greatest–and spiritually deadliest–cheater vice. Pride says, “I will never get caught.” Pride says, “I deserve to be ‘happy.’” … Continue reading “The greatest virtue deficit for cheaters”

“Failed Marriage” label issues

Divorce = “Failed Marriage” Is a marriage that ends other than in divorce thereby “successful?” I may be speaking from my own baggage or sensitivities on this. Plenty of divorced individuals seem to have no problem with this word selection. However, I do not like the word choice when “failed marriage” is used interchangeably for … Continue reading ““Failed Marriage” label issues”

It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!

But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery. -Matthew 5:32, NLT Faithful spouse, you are free to choose divorce over staying in an abusive marriage with a cheater. This is what I see … Continue reading “It is YOUR decision, not your pastor’s!”

Divorcing a cheater is not an “easy way out!”

Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? -Matthew 7:4, NKJV A faithful spouse choosing to divorce a cheater is not taking the “easy way out!” It is disgusting that a follower of Christ would ever suggest such a thing. They … Continue reading “Divorcing a cheater is not an “easy way out!””