Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues on you! Cheaters are not very good at own their own behaviors. They excel at blaming others for their misdeeds. So, it should come as no surprise that the “sins” or “misdeeds” that they accused their spouses of are likely the misdeeds and sins … Continue reading “Pro-Tip: Do not be shocked if they project their own issues on you!”
Category: Emotional Affair
That phase
When the infidelity betrayal is fresh, a temptation exists to write off an entire gender. I think this is very common for faithful spouses. I think it is part of the grief process. We feel vulnerable and betrayed. The trauma of it all makes us want to avoid putting ourselves in a place where … Continue reading “That phase”
Do not let them “get” to you!
If you live without restraint and are unable to control your temper, you’re as helpless as a city with broken-down defenses, open to attack. -Proverbs 25:28, TPT Boy, this is a hard one to learn. Cheaters seemed skilled at needling their partner just where they are the most vulnerable. It might be over their “manhood” … Continue reading “Do not let them “get” to you!”
Pastors, adultery needs to be condemned publicly!
“From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. ‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace. Are they ashamed of their detestable conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they … Continue reading “Pastors, adultery needs to be condemned publicly!”
Godly forgiveness is NOT cheap forgiveness
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Godly forgiveness is NOT cheap forgiveness”
Cheater, you are the aggressor, not victim, here!
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! -I Corinthians 6:15, NIV Cheater, you are the aggressor, not the victim, here! For whatever reasons, people are often taken in by the pity story a caught cheater spins … Continue reading “Cheater, you are the aggressor, not victim, here!”
Pastor to DM: What DO I say to an adultery victim?
“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” -Matthew 10:42, NIV What DO I say to an adultery victim as a pastor? Yesterday’s post raised this question. Dr. Skinner suggested a … Continue reading “Pastor to DM: What DO I say to an adultery victim?”
Cheater: “I talked it out with my therapist. We’re good now.”
“I talked through my issues around the affair with my therapist. We’re good now,” says Cheater. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.“ -Mark 10:11, NIV An affair is a violation of the marriage vow to “forsake all others.” The cheater has sinned against their spouse–whether physically or … Continue reading “Cheater: “I talked it out with my therapist. We’re good now.””
Sometimes the criticism just reveals the critic.
In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, But he who restrains his lips is wise. -Proverbs 10:19, NKJV People’s criticisms say a lot… …but not necessarily anything about the one criticized. This is a lesson impressed upon me during my formal training in clinical pastoral care. It is an important lesson to remember … Continue reading “Sometimes the criticism just reveals the critic.”
An affair is NEVER about the other spouse.
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -Hebrews 13:4, NIV The affair is never about the other spouse. I know this is a controversial thing to write. But it is true from a pastor’s perspective. We know this truth from … Continue reading “An affair is NEVER about the other spouse.”