“I just do not have any hope for our marriage.” -Cheater Ironically, faithful spouses are usually the ones who are accused of giving up on the marriage. The reality is that the cheater gave up on the marriage the moment they decided to violate their marriage vows. Plus, many of us–I suspect–sat in the counseling … Continue reading “Cheater claims no hope.”
Category: Emotional Affair
Do not just stay daytime friends!
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. -Proverbs 4:23, NLT I was listening to some of the Kenny Rogers’ songs. He died recently. One of his songs jumped out at me. His song, “Daytime Friends,” struck me as a song that illustrates a most basic principle regarding cheaters: … Continue reading “Do not just stay daytime friends!”
Probably planned this out….
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes…. -Proverbs 6:16-18a, NIV Sad to say, I suspect many cheaters have planned out their deception and their exodus from the marriage. This is especially true–I suspect–when it comes … Continue reading “Probably planned this out….”
Stuck relationships
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater. … Continue reading “Stuck relationships”
Cheaters refusing to let go of “victim” identity
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A blinding pride. This is what cheaters have. They are so caught up in entitlement that they do not see or care what damage they are doing … Continue reading “Cheaters refusing to let go of “victim” identity”
Just withdrawals!
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. -Proverbs 5:18, NIV When one partner refuses to do the things that both enjoy, you know this person is already gone. Instead, this person seems fixated on berating the faithful partner about his or her “shortcomings.” This is NOT a … Continue reading “Just withdrawals!”
We could have made a list, too!
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.” -I Peter 4:8, NKJV Cheaters are “good” at putting together a list of things that they do not like about their spouse. They are doing this to “justify” their infidelity and their abandonment of the marriage. The … Continue reading “We could have made a list, too!”
Oh, the difference!
A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. -Proverbs 31:10, MSG Eight years ago, I was in a much different place around this time. It was the season my first marriage imploded. All sorts of horrors came forth during that season. Yet God sustained me. He was there with me … Continue reading “Oh, the difference!”
Cheater-speak: “It just happened.”
“It just happened.” -Cheater This sort of explanation of an affair is a way to avoid responsibility. It is a way to ascribe the affair to causes like blizzards and tsunamis. It just happened. Natural disasters “just happen.” Sin takes an agent. If this was not so, then God would not bother telling us NOT … Continue reading “Cheater-speak: “It just happened.””
Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. -Proverbs 17:22, NIV Much of the suffering faithful spouses experience is spiritual in nature. Writing this blog for a couple of years, the questions I encounter center around deep spiritual pain and confusion. These are not so much the nuts and … Continue reading “Spiritual trauma best addressed by faithful pastors”