14 Thou shalt not commit adultery. -Exodus 20:14, KJV When adultery is discovered, many pastors and Christian counselors seem to lose their minds. They quickly jump into sleuthing mode looking for “deficiencies” in the marriage–not the cheater. All the focus is on the entitled cheater’s desires. It is a double standard. Two people were in the … Continue reading “What about the “unmet needs” of the faithful spouse?”
Category: Emotional Affair
Bad sign when she is more worried about people knowing
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. -John 3:20, NIV Priorities are completely upended with cheaters. A Christian whose mind was not held captive by lies and deception would be ashamed of his or her cheating behavior. They would be … Continue reading “Bad sign when she is more worried about people knowing”
Not gonna out smart God!
…and be sure your sin will find you out. -Numbers 32:23b, KJV He catches the wise in their craftiness, and the schemes of the wily are swept away. -Job 5:13, NIV From my cheater’s response in the initial confrontation over her adulterous affair, I am convinced she thought I would never discover her cheating. She … Continue reading “Not gonna out smart God!”
What about the damage to the cheater’s reputation?
“Keep it as quiet as possible. Just think about the damage done to other relationships if you tell them she cheated on you [aka the truth].” -Standard (Awful) Advice Such concern for the damage of relationships is too late in coming. Actions reveal character. Character often shapes reputation. If a cheater wanted a good reputation, … Continue reading “What about the damage to the cheater’s reputation?”
Commentary on cheaters claiming to be Christians
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven….Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ -Matthew 7:21, 23, NIV Anyone who continues to live in him will … Continue reading “Commentary on cheaters claiming to be Christians”
Grandiose Martyr Cheater
Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love–Isaac–and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” -Genesis 22:2, NIV Leave it to cheaters to pretend they are doing something noble while acting treacherously and wickedly towards their spouse. They … Continue reading “Grandiose Martyr Cheater”
Correcting cheap cheater forgiveness teachings
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Correcting cheap cheater forgiveness teachings”
David Clarke, Ph.D. Online Resource
While wondering on the internet looking for resources from David Clarke, PhD, I stumbled upon his website (click here). These past few days I have been listening to his podcast. He has some good things to say in those podcasts. Clarke is not a wimpy Christian counselor. He does not let cheaters off the hook … Continue reading “David Clarke, Ph.D. Online Resource”
A miserable cheater
Assuming a cheater is miserable because their spouse is so lousy is a dangerously bad assumption. The misery may simply result from a discord between their actions and their morals. They cannot escape the condemnation in their hearts over the sins they are committing. It is also possible their misery is a result of unresolved … Continue reading “A miserable cheater”
Cheaters and their spouse improvement lists
Cheaters sometimes come with the faithful spouse to a pastor (or Christian marriage counselor) with a list. This is a list designed to excuse their behavior and keep the focus off their own sin. Many take the bait. We, faithful spouses, think that if we do the requested self-improvements then we can save our marriage. … Continue reading “Cheaters and their spouse improvement lists”