When I was in the heat of my marriage dissolution, I remember constantly being thrown off by the email responses I received from my (now) ex-wife. They would make me particularly upset when she continued to insist on pinning the fault for the marriage ending on me. Looking back now, I can see how out … Continue reading “Settled in truth and reality”
Category: Emotional Affair
Adulteress: “I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].”
![Adulteress: “I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].”](https://i0.wp.com/www.divorceminister.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/wp-1576423590098.jpg?fit=1200%2C533&ssl=1)
“I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].” -Adulteress Busted. And then the cheater busts out this mind messing statement. What is the cheater doing by making such a statement? They are doing several things. All them are bad, of course. In general, it is a particularly heinous thing for a cheater to say after … Continue reading “Adulteress: “I am not divorcing you because of him [Other Man].””
Two to Tango? Really?!
Random Christian: Sure, she cheated on you. But you know, it takes two to tango. DM: That only applies if you have two willing and able dance partners. She clearly is not willing and possibly not even able to “tango” with me. The “It takes two to tango” line is a subtle blame-shift upon faithful … Continue reading “Two to Tango? Really?!”
Narrative control as abuse
Cheaters often are very insistent about controlling the narrative on what happened to end the marriage. Some think that they are entitled to avoid the natural consequences that come with doing something very, very bad. You know, the sort of consequences that people tend to trust and esteem you less knowing how you treacherously betrayed your (former) … Continue reading “Narrative control as abuse”
Cheaters are master manipulators.
Test all things; hold fast what is good. -I Thessalonians 5:21, NKJV A master manipulator knows how to take a potential weakness and work it into a strength. They know how to leverage a situation. Cheaters are master manipulators, IMO. The speed at which a cheater can turn a confession of infidelity into a discussion … Continue reading “Cheaters are master manipulators.”
Seven years, today.
Another anniversary. Today marks the seventh anniversary of my divorce becoming final. I have now been divorced from longer than I was married to my first wife. I still have memories, yet it feels like a lifetime away. The hardest memories are the fond ones as they remind me of what was lost. Yet, I … Continue reading “Seven years, today.”
Emotional wounds are the longest to heal.
Probably the hardest part of healing from a divorce from a cheater are the lingering emotional wounds from that marriage. You have to find a way to ground yourself in reality. This reality is a reality NOT defined by the cheater or her people. It is reality, in other words. That is hard to do when you … Continue reading “Emotional wounds are the longest to heal.”
On treating cheating as an unimportant detail regarding the divorce.
“If a man commits adultery with his neighbor’s wife, both the man and the woman who have committed adultery must be put to death.” -Leviticus 20:10, NLT What astounds me with pastors and Christian marriage counselors who deal with marital infidelity situations is how too many treat cheating as incidental to a marriage ending in … Continue reading “On treating cheating as an unimportant detail regarding the divorce.”
But some truly ARE crazy!
But a man who commits adultery has no sense…. -Proverbs 6:32a, NIV A common word of advice in the dating world is not to date a divorced individual who describes their ex as “crazy.”* Maybe you have heard this one? Such bad-mouthing of an ex is treated as a major red flag. The idea is that … Continue reading “But some truly ARE crazy!”
Public Service Announcement: NOT your mess!!!
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad. -2 Corinthians 5:10, KJV Repenting of sins committed against us makes no sense! Yet this is the standard counsel given to … Continue reading “Public Service Announcement: NOT your mess!!!”