Just because a cheater has agreed to see a Christian counselor or pastor to work on the marriage does not necessarily mean the cheater has ended the affair. It boggles my mind to think a cheater would attend Christian marriage counseling with a therapist or pastor while secretly continuing to cheat. But it happens! I know … Continue reading “Just because the cheater is in the pastor’s office, doesn’t mean they ended the affair.”
Category: Emotional Affair
“The Assessment”
As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. -Job 4:8, NIV “The Assessment” Within the evangelical culture, the belief that the faithful spouse did something “to deserve” the adulterous desertion of their partner is all too prevalent. They have not learned from this erroneous assessment by one of Job’s … Continue reading ““The Assessment””
A seared conscience
But the [Holy] Spirit explicitly and unmistakably declares that in later times some will turn away from the faith…[misled] by the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared as with a branding iron [leaving them incapable of ethical functioning]…. -I Timothy 4:1a,2, AMP When a cheater is telling their spouse, pastor, and/or Christian counselor that … Continue reading “A seared conscience”
Infidelity and “The False Gospel of Self-Fulfillment”
See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy…. -Colossians 2:8a, NIV Recently, I came across a fascinating article in Christianity Today by Jen Pollock Michel entitled “Glennon Doyle Melton’s Gospel of Self-Fulfillment: Why living your truth bravely isn’t enough.” The article takes aim at the thinking espoused by famous Momastery blogger, … Continue reading “Infidelity and “The False Gospel of Self-Fulfillment””
Cheaters are active agents in choosing a hardened heart.
And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he let the people go. -Exodus 8:32, KJV Cheaters become cheaters by going down “The Road of Bad Choices.” They have hard hearts because they have chosen to harden their hearts just as Pharaoh did. I make this point for two reasons: 1) I suspect … Continue reading “Cheaters are active agents in choosing a hardened heart.”
Loves little.
“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” -Luke 7:47, NIV Did anyone here have a cheater (or cheater defender) who was dismissive of your offer–as the victim of the adultery–to forgive? This verse attributed to Jesus comes to mind … Continue reading “Loves little.”
What a decade! Happy New Year!!!
What a decade the 2010’s were for me! I never would have scripted these years for me in the way they went down. However, I am grateful for the ending days of that decade. At the start, I was still finishing up my seminary education at Yale while married to my cheater. The next couple … Continue reading “What a decade! Happy New Year!!!”
Chapman on third party not being the cause….
“First, realize that the third person is never the full reason for separation. In fact, Guidepost 4 says that marital difficulty is caused by the marriage partners, not by someone outside the marriage….Your failures and those of your spouse brought about the crisis in your marriage.” -ONE MORE TRY by Gary Chapman, pp31-32. Oddly, I … Continue reading “Chapman on third party not being the cause….”
Over that line, big time!
Have you ever done a “mind map?” As I remember them from grade school, this is a brainstorming tool where one has a main idea in a bubble then related ideas connected to that bubble to form a web like picture. I know of a situation involving a cheater who utilized this tool to figure … Continue reading “Over that line, big time!”
The question of Hell.
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. -2 Peter 3:9, NIV While this verse is more about Christ’s second coming, I figure it is a good verse to talk about end things in general. … Continue reading “The question of Hell.”