Some people just cannot handle the souls of others well. The conversation where a faithful spouse spills their grief and pain results in a shaming exercise where the Christian listener warns the faithful spouse about bitterness and God’s hatred of divorce. I know I fell into the “oversharing trap” early in my marriage’s dissolution. Too … Continue reading “Beware of oversharing”
Category: Forgiveness
The Danger and Allure of Premature Forgiveness
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT What I find interesting is how much advice is given about forgiveness for faithful spouses as if this is the hardest part–convincing faithful spouses to forgive. I don’t … Continue reading “The Danger and Allure of Premature Forgiveness”
Theology of Forgiveness: Are cheaters forgiven without admitting wrongdoing?
Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?” Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God….” -Acts 2:37-38a, NLT Remember how Jesus asked God to forgive those crucifying him from the cross (see Luke 23:34)? These verses … Continue reading “Theology of Forgiveness: Are cheaters forgiven without admitting wrongdoing?”
“Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse
“Talking about it just triggers my toxic shame. I can’t face what I did.” -Cheater This is a real conundrum for a faithful spouse. It is hard to heal when you do not have some of the basic facts and your spouse is refusing to help on that number citing “toxic shame.” The “toxic … Continue reading ““Toxic Shame” Cheater Excuse”
Lysa TerKeurst Divorcing, Apparently
TerKeust, who has five children, said she believes the “wisest (and hardest) choice I can make is to stop fighting to save my marriage of 29 years and, instead, accept reality.” -from “Lysa TerKeurst announces divorce after battling to save marriage, standing ‘firm’ in faith despite pain” by Leah MarieAnn Klett in The Christian Post, Sunday, January … Continue reading “Lysa TerKeurst Divorcing, Apparently”
Forgiveness does not work if the person won’t stay to receive it
Forgive as the Lord forgave you. -Colossians 3:13b, NIV It is hard to give someone a gift when they are running away from you. This is the picture of someone who is unwilling to repent and turn to you for the gift of forgiveness. They are not in a position to receive the gift. … Continue reading “Forgiveness does not work if the person won’t stay to receive it”
Pining after your cheater? Rebuild your life and leave them as an unpleasant footnote.
So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. -Job 42:12a, NLT Cheaters enjoy being the center of your attention. The best revenge is one where they are irrelevant to your life. You are too busy with the new life God has given you to even think of … Continue reading “Pining after your cheater? Rebuild your life and leave them as an unpleasant footnote.”
A cheater worrying about you “forever holding it against” them
“I’m concerned that you will hold this [affair] over my head forever if I stay,” Cheater declares. A cheater who makes such a statement is still more concerned about themselves than the trauma they inflicted on their spouse by cheating. The statement really is revealing. Such a cheater still believes it is about their wishes … Continue reading “A cheater worrying about you “forever holding it against” them”
Restitution is a true sorry.
Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!” -Luke 19:8, NLT Sorry is a beginning. A true sorry is one backed by actions demonstrating an effort to … Continue reading “Restitution is a true sorry.”
Repentance is key to godly forgiveness
“4 Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? 5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.” -Luke 13:4-5, KJV Repentance is clearly assumed as necessary before forgiveness and salvation according to Jesus’ … Continue reading “Repentance is key to godly forgiveness”