Category: Grief

Better Days Ahead!

The Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning…. -Job 42:12a, NASB So much is done within the Church to reinforce fears concerning divorce. Even a ministry I generally recommend for those divorcing a cheating spouse, DivorceCare, does this to some extent. They certainly do not encourage divorce–even when, I believe, that … Continue reading “Better Days Ahead!”

Painful Absence

You have removed lover and friend far from me; My acquaintances are in darkness. -Psalm 88:18, NASB Holidays can be especially painful when you find yourself recently bereft of your spouse or long-time partner. Honestly, some of the most painful parts of my marriage ending was adjusting to no longer having my spouse with me … Continue reading “Painful Absence”

On Being Dismembered

I work in hospice and have the opportunity to watch the poignant beauty of marriages that have lasted well past fifty years. I say, “poignant” because I feel both awed by the sheer beauty of a couple still caring for each other after many decades together as well as sad by my own loss. Recently, … Continue reading “On Being Dismembered”

A Conspicuous Absence In Pastoral Training!

If you spent even a little time looking over the required curriculum for M.Div. students at most evangelical seminaries, you will notice a heavy emphasis on Biblical languages and Scripture exegesis. In my former denomination, this emphasis is reflected in their ordaining process, which pushes candidates to memorize Scripture for each doctrine of interest to the … Continue reading “A Conspicuous Absence In Pastoral Training!”

On Songs and Scents

This song by Josh Turner came on the radio the other day. Like songs and scents are liable to do, it transported me to another time. It reminded me of my first honeymoon. You see, we drove to our honeymoon location while this and other songs from this new-at-the-time album from Josh Turner played. It … Continue reading “On Songs and Scents”

Catchy Tune About Recovering…”It Don’t Hurt Like It Used To”

While I do not condone or recommend using alcohol to deal with heart-break, I appreciate some of the lessons this catchy tune from Billy Currington highlights about recovering.  Two points I particularly appreciate: The singer refuses to lie about the pain.  The pain and grief is worse if we refused to acknowledge the obvious: It hurts … Continue reading “Catchy Tune About Recovering…”It Don’t Hurt Like It Used To””

Yes, it CAN be that bad!

And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. -John 3:19, NKJV Shock. That is a normal response to traumatic revelations. And the revelation that one’s spouse cheated and lied to cover it up certainly qualifies as a traumatic … Continue reading “Yes, it CAN be that bad!”

Don’t dig up the “bones.”

“Forget the former things;     do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” -Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV Sometimes ruminating on the past just inflicts more suffering. Not doing this is easier said than done, of course. And we do need space to tell our stories plus acknowledge what happened actually happened. That is … Continue reading “Don’t dig up the “bones.””