“Even if she cheated on me, I would still stay with her and try to make the marriage work,” says faithful spouse. “You’d just hold that over her head forever,” replies cheater apologist. When this is the mentality or response from the cheater side, you know the marriage is done. This sort of response exposes … Continue reading “Will not rebuild”
Category: Reconciliation
Reconciliation, NOT Restoration
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation, NOT Restoration”
Stay strong and do not repeat my mistake!
The Other Man was discovered. I wrote a letter to my (then) wife letting her know I would not tolerate her cheating anymore. She could either choose to work to prove to me that her cheating days were over, or she could expect me to terminate my relationship–friendship included–with her permanently. Obviously, she chose the … Continue reading “Stay strong and do not repeat my mistake!”
Beware of false hope
When I was going through the darkest part of my marriage dying, I really did not want the divorce. (As a side note, I am so grateful today that I was freed by that divorce. God has used Mrs. DM and Munchkin to restore the laughter in the halls of my heart.) A temptation I … Continue reading “Beware of false hope”
Outsider “forgiveness concern” vs “repentance concern”
…and if you see him going the wrong direction, cry out and correct him. If there is true repentance on his part, forgive him. -Luke 17:3, TPT I wonder if you have experienced versions of these questions or statements. (They usually come from well-meaning–but emotionally and biblically tone-deaf–Christians): “So, have you forgiven her?” “Where are … Continue reading “Outsider “forgiveness concern” vs “repentance concern””
Time to shake off their dust!
And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them. -Luke 9:5, KJV Jesus gave us a ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18), yet Jesus told His Disciples to move on if this ministry was rejected! Cheaters reject godly reconciliation … Continue reading “Time to shake off their dust!”
Remember who made the mess!
Faithful spouse, remember who made this mess! If you are like many of us, you will be tempted to take on responsibility for fixing the relationship blown up by your partner’s infidelity. Please, don’t! The only way the relationship can be repaired is by the person who blew it up in the first place. Sadly, … Continue reading “Remember who made the mess!”
Calculated cheating
Cheating does not “just happen.” Even those cheating events that happen with alcohol involved are evidence of what is already in the heart. The substance just lowered their inhibitions to act on the sin in their hearts. What is worse is those cheaters–who are many–who plan out months or years of cheating. It is hard … Continue reading “Calculated cheating”
No hope? Self-fulfilling cheater prophecy.
“I just do not have any hope for our marriage.” -Cheater Ironically, faithful spouses are usually the ones who are accused of giving up on the marriage. The reality is that the cheater gave up on the marriage the moment they decided to violate their marriage vows. Plus, many of us–I suspect–sat in the counseling … Continue reading “No hope? Self-fulfilling cheater prophecy.”
Cheap Cheater forgiveness teaching addressed
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. -Matthew 5:23-24, NKJV “God forgives me. So what’s your problem?!” -Cheater Does … Continue reading “Cheap Cheater forgiveness teaching addressed”