Do I believe a marriage can come back after a spouse cheats? To answer this question, I think you have to answer another prior question. That question is a question about God working miracles today. I DO believe God still works miracles today; so, I do believe God can resurrect a marriage killed by infidelity. … Continue reading “So hard”
Category: Reconciliation
Cheater concern about you never “getting over it.”
“If we stayed married, you’d always hold this over my head,” says Cheater. Cheater Concern About You Never “Getting Over It” What I find interesting about this response is how the Cheater shows he or she understands the infidelity has forever impacted the marriage. They understand that they cannot go back to how things were. … Continue reading “Cheater concern about you never “getting over it.””
Preying on your desperation
After discovering infidelity, I bet many of us went into overdrive to figure out how to “save” our marriages. It is the rare faithful spouse who refuses to demean themselves further by chasing after the cheater (and the marriage) immediately. Especially, as a Christian, I think it is rare to level consequences at the start … Continue reading “Preying on your desperation”
Godly and reasonable to expect the cheating to stop!
Let her remove the adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts. -Hosea 2:2b, NIV Restored, godly marriages resurrected after the destruction of adultery are rare. Cheaters would have to change character for this to happen. Such change is painful and hard. That is not the path most cheaters take. Shortcuts are … Continue reading “Godly and reasonable to expect the cheating to stop!”
Their toasted conscience
But the [Holy] Spirit explicitly and unmistakably declares that in later times some will turn away from the faith…[misled] by the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared as with a branding iron [leaving them incapable of ethical functioning]…. -I Timothy 4:1a,2, AMP When a cheater is telling their spouse, pastor, and/or Christian counselor that … Continue reading “Their toasted conscience”
Insist on seeing the change!
Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. -Matthew 3:8, NLT When dealing with a cheater, the proper biblical approach is NOT to even consider restoring the marriage without obvious repentance. You need to look at the cheater’s actions: Are they the sort of actions that … Continue reading “Insist on seeing the change!”
Goal of peace
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18, NIV Notice what this verse does and does NOT say: 1. It does NOT say–or set the expectation–that we are friends with everyone. 2. It DOES say–i.e. acknowledges–that peace with some people is impossible. These are very important … Continue reading “Goal of peace”
No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!
Public Service Notice: As long as the cheater is still cheating, you do not have a marriage to save. You cannot fix this situation on your own. No matter how much you want to stay married. That is all you will do. You will stay attached to your abuser. What you won’t have is a … Continue reading “No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!”
Repentance is the price of admission.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3b, NIV (emphasis mine) You are wasting your time with a cheater if they are not repenting. The sinful behavior will continue with all its abuse without this critical change. Please, faithful spouse, do not settle for less … Continue reading “Repentance is the price of admission.”
A shot at reconciliation denied.
Peace. One of the things that gave me peace–after some time of healing–about my first marriage ending was that I gave it a shot. I left the door open to a godly reconciliation. Once I knew about the adultery, I kicked the ball back into her court. I gave her the option of repenting from … Continue reading “A shot at reconciliation denied.”