Prove by the way you live that you have repented of your sins and turned to God. -Matthew 3:8, NLT When dealing with a cheater, the proper biblical approach is NOT to even consider restoring the marriage without obvious repentance. You need to look at the cheater’s actions: Are they the sort of actions that … Continue reading “Insist on seeing the change!”
Category: Reconciliation
Goal of peace
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. -Romans 12:18, NIV Notice what this verse does and does NOT say: 1. It does NOT say–or set the expectation–that we are friends with everyone. 2. It DOES say–i.e. acknowledges–that peace with some people is impossible. These are very important … Continue reading “Goal of peace”
No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!
Public Service Notice: As long as the cheater is still cheating, you do not have a marriage to save. You cannot fix this situation on your own. No matter how much you want to stay married. That is all you will do. You will stay attached to your abuser. What you won’t have is a … Continue reading “No marriage left to save as long as still cheating!”
Repentance is the price of admission.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.” -Luke 17:3b, NIV (emphasis mine) You are wasting your time with a cheater if they are not repenting. The sinful behavior will continue with all its abuse without this critical change. Please, faithful spouse, do not settle for less … Continue reading “Repentance is the price of admission.”
A shot at reconciliation denied.
Peace. One of the things that gave me peace–after some time of healing–about my first marriage ending was that I gave it a shot. I left the door open to a godly reconciliation. Once I knew about the adultery, I kicked the ball back into her court. I gave her the option of repenting from … Continue reading “A shot at reconciliation denied.”
Freely provides restitution
“‘…if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.’” -Luke 19:8b, NIV A truly repentant Cheater will offer restitution. This is what I see from this famous story about Jesus meeting Zacchaeus. Jesus did not insist on this. The offer was freely offered by Zaccheaus. He had met … Continue reading “Freely provides restitution”
Called out!
For some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked. Hymenaeus and Alexander are two examples. I threw them out and handed them over to Satan so they might learn not to blaspheme God. -I Timothy 1:19b-20, NLT The Apostle Paul names, names here. He does not shy away from … Continue reading “Called out!”
Communication problem? Not how it seems.
The only “communication” issue needing addressing stat is the absolute, verified ending the affair. A cheater can keep a pastor and faithful spouse chasing random rabbit trails for a very long time if they are convinced the marriage issues are anything other than ending the affair. Lot of energy can be lost focusing on secondary … Continue reading “Communication problem? Not how it seems.”
Look for godliness as priority in pastoral care
“Let’s set aside the affair for a moment. We need to work on your marriage. You each have problems you need to own.” -Pastor/Christian Counselor If a version comes out of your pastors or counselor’s mouth, it is time to find a new pastor or counselor. They are dangerously clueless. Fidelity is a bedrock for … Continue reading “Look for godliness as priority in pastoral care”
A dream-prompting
Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. -Hebrews 12:15b, NLT Each night, I pray that God would send me healing and prophetic dreams as I go to bed. This morning I woke remembering a vivid dream. It involved a “friend” who betrayed me in my divorce from … Continue reading “A dream-prompting”