Mailbag: Can he change?

Marjie wrote, I have been married for 26 years. 22 years ago I found out my husband was going to prostitutes, massage parlors ect. At the time we had 2 children in diapers. I was completely destroyed, but because of our kids I agreed to work it out. My husband isn’t an easy person, he … Continue reading “Mailbag: Can he change?”

The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian

Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. And if anyone thinks that he knows anything, he knows nothing yet as he ought to know. -I Corinthians 8:1b-2, NKJV Just because a Christian has been married for a long time does not mean said Christian is equipped to properly advise a faithful spouse dealing with a cheater. … Continue reading “The Arrogant, Long-Married Christian”

“Stuff happens.”

Me: “I got divorced. Then I had to go through a trial with my denomination to keep my license.” Friend: “Don’t they realize that stuff happens.” I do not recommend the “stuff happens” response to someone whose marriage has been blown up by adultery. While I appreciate this friend’s effort to be understanding, this is … Continue reading ““Stuff happens.””

Divorcing a Duggar?

Recent reports are suggesting that Anna Duggar has decided to divorce Josh Duggar. This is a couple who rose to fame through TLC’s reality TV program “19 Kids and Counting.” It was a show following Josh’s parents, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar plus their growing tribe. It is emblematic of a very conservative–some might say Fundamentalist–form … Continue reading “Divorcing a Duggar?”

On Being Dismembered

I work in hospice and have the opportunity to watch the poignant beauty of marriages that have lasted well past fifty years. I say, “poignant” because I feel both awed by the sheer beauty of a couple still caring for each other after many decades together as well as sad by my own loss. Recently, … Continue reading “On Being Dismembered”

What if pastors had skin in the “game,” too?

What if pastors had to pay a faithful spouse $10,000 or more if they were wrong about the cheating being over?! In my opinion, faithful spouses who stay in marriages for subsequent infidelity discoveries are loosing more than just $10,000. They are loosing precious time, emotional well-being, and physical well-being (e.g. risk of contracting life-altering … Continue reading “What if pastors had skin in the “game,” too?”

Don’t be their “play thing!”

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. -Matthew 7:12, NIV One of the aspects of working with faithful spouses that disturbs me greatly is how their cheaters use them and essentially make them their “play things.” The cheater goes … Continue reading “Don’t be their “play thing!””