“Why can’t you just be open and honest with me?! I am being completely open and honest with you,” says a lying cheater in a marriage session. Openness and honesty is a noble attribute of healthy relationships. That is what makes this cheater plea so dangerous. It looks good to an outsider. Who is against openness … Continue reading “Cheater-Speak: “Open and honest” ploy”
Category: Sin
Flunking Basic Christianity
The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor. -Romans 13:9-10a, NIV Cheaters have been known to profess their commitment to Christianity … Continue reading “Flunking Basic Christianity”
Just because a cheater says they are a Christian does not make it so!
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” -Matthew 7:21, NIV Confessing “Christian” Cheaters One of the most confusing part of dealing with adultery and general infidelity discoveries is how they do not fit with the … Continue reading “Just because a cheater says they are a Christian does not make it so!”
Reconciliation, NOT Restoration
And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:19b, NIV Reconciled to friendship, NOT marriage! What often bothers me about Christians talking about marriages ravaged by adultery is how “reconciliation” is thrown about as the same thing as marriage restoration. It is not. A former couple could experience true reconciliation … Continue reading “Reconciliation, NOT Restoration”
Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists
“But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the Lord Almighty. -Malachi 2:8, NIV More than one of my (now) ex-wife’s family members took it upon themselves to lecture me about how I needed to be a better Christian and … Continue reading “Lectures from spiritually blind Cheater Apologists”
Emotional Affair sign
“Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” -Matthew 19:6, NLT When your wife is more concerned about the opinion of her male “friend” than she is of her husband, you can be assured she has crossed over to an emotional affair, minimally. This is … Continue reading “Emotional Affair sign”
Cheater Apologist: “We are all sinners, after all.”
“We are all sinners, after all.” -Cheater Apologist This lame religious excuse may be heard coming from the adulterous spouse and/or other Christian “apologists” seeking “neutral” ground in this situation. While it sounds wise and caring, it is really an extremely poor application of Biblical truth to the situation. It is an example of something … Continue reading “Cheater Apologist: “We are all sinners, after all.””
Professing Christian Cheaters
21 “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. 22 On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in … Continue reading “Professing Christian Cheaters”
Divorce as Morally Injurous Event
While doing my year-long residency as a chaplain at a Veterans’ Affairs Medical Center, I gained education on a relatively new area of research for professional chaplains and psychologists. Most people today are familiar with the acronym PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), but I would be surprised if many are aware of this accompanying concept–i.e. moral injury. Please … Continue reading “Divorce as Morally Injurous Event”
Worse than we suspected
One thing too many pastors get wrong about faithful spouses is how we are just “looking for a way out” when we divorce our cheater. That is NOT what is happening! There are far less painful ways to end a marriage than through infidelity discovery. Trust me. The reality is we–faithful spouses–probably undersold the mess. … Continue reading “Worse than we suspected”