“Sure, some of what he stated was false. But was there anything true in his criticism of you?” -Cheater Supporter He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” -Genesis 3:1b, NIV Danger! Danger! Danger! When a cheater apologist encourages you to dig in the … Continue reading “Cheater Apologist: “But was there anything true in his criticism?””
Category: Sin
Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. -Romans 12:15, NKJV What astounds me about some Christians is how they believe they are helping faithful spouses by telling them that they must forgive their cheater. Most of us–faithful spouses–already understand forgiving our cheater is on the docket of things to do in … Continue reading “Why are you exhorting the faithful spouse to forgive?”
Calculated cheating
Cheating does not “just happen.” Even those cheating events that happen with alcohol involved are evidence of what is already in the heart. The substance just lowered their inhibitions to act on the sin in their hearts. What is worse is those cheaters–who are many–who plan out months or years of cheating. It is hard … Continue reading “Calculated cheating”
Downright dangerous lie
“The affair has nothing to do with our marriage problems.” -Lying Cheater This is a very dangerous lie. Various people may say this. The cheater may say this, and sometimes, sadly, pastors or other counselors may say this. Sadly, they may even believe the lie. The lie is dangerous, because it takes the focus off … Continue reading “Downright dangerous lie”
Cannot compete against fantasy
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. -Proverbs 5:18, NIV When I was dating my first wife (the cheater), I remember thinking about this dynamic. A committed relationship was very different than one that was not. The fantasy soon wears off when real life issues start impacting … Continue reading “Cannot compete against fantasy”
No hope? Self-fulfilling cheater prophecy.
“I just do not have any hope for our marriage.” -Cheater Ironically, faithful spouses are usually the ones who are accused of giving up on the marriage. The reality is that the cheater gave up on the marriage the moment they decided to violate their marriage vows. Plus, many of us–I suspect–sat in the counseling … Continue reading “No hope? Self-fulfilling cheater prophecy.”
Wicked schemers
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes…. -Proverbs 6:16-18a, NIV Sad to say, I suspect many cheaters have planned out their deception and their exodus from the marriage. This is especially true–I suspect–when it comes … Continue reading “Wicked schemers”
Practiced Life of Lies
Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight. -Proverbs 12:22, KJV One of the main reasons I am really skeptical of marriages “surviving” infidelity is the challenge of changing a sin pattern in the cheater. This is the pattern of speaking and believing lies. I add the second part, … Continue reading “Practiced Life of Lies”
Letting go of bad relationships
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. -Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater. … Continue reading “Letting go of bad relationships”
The false “victim mentality” of cheaters
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:5, NIV A blinding pride. This is what cheaters have. They are so caught up in entitlement that they do not see or care what damage they are doing … Continue reading “The false “victim mentality” of cheaters”