Here is the deceptive way of the adulterous woman: she takes what she wants and then says, “I’ve done nothing wrong.” -Proverbs 30:20, TPT Cheaters are entitled users. They bank on the faithful spouse trusting them to continue their deceptions without consequences (like a divorce and all that comes with that). In other words, they … Continue reading “Cheaters are users.”
Category: Sin
Advice from a non-therapist…
The following lesson is a lesson I learned the hard way: Be choosy as it comes to who you use as a marriage therapist (if you choose to go that route and the cheater is willing). If the counselor has been your cheater’s individual therapist, they are not suited to help you both as a … Continue reading “Advice from a non-therapist…”
The “Unmet Needs” Theory (aka lie)
The “Unmet Needs” Theory Lie: Put succinctly… …teaches faithful spouses that their deficiencies at home is what drove the adulterous spouse to cheat. The faithful spouse was not sexually available enough. The faithful spouse was not emotionally adept and engaged enough. You know the drill. I have heard in horror how even pastors operate under … Continue reading “The “Unmet Needs” Theory (aka lie)”
Judge-y: “I’m concerned.”
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” -Matthew 7:1-2, KJV A common annoyance I encounter–and suspect other faithful spouses encounter as well–are Christians giving their unsolicited assessment of my state of healing. They … Continue reading “Judge-y: “I’m concerned.””
Well, are you without sin?
“She has been cheating on me these last few months. I can’t stay married to her considering all of that,” says the faithful spouse. “Don’t be so hasty. After all, are you without sin?” says the cheater apologist. Such a response from a “Christian” cheater apologist is far from helpful. Not all sins have the … Continue reading “Well, are you without sin?”
The hellish price for Christian “support”
Hate evil and love what is good; turn your courts into true halls of justice. Perhaps even yet the Lord God of Heaven’s Armies will have mercy on the remnant of his people. -Amos 5:15, NLT Divorce Minister: Taking Adultery Seriously is an online community where I do not blame the victims of adultery. Too often, I … Continue reading “The hellish price for Christian “support””
Sexless marriage excuse is an especially poor one!
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. -I Corinthians 6:9-10, KJV While a sexless marriage is … Continue reading “Sexless marriage excuse is an especially poor one!”
“Love & Respect” by Dr. Eggerichs promotes “The Shared Responsibility Lie”
“…men are often lured into affairs because they are sexually deprived at home. A man who strays is usually given total blame for his affair, but in many cases he is the victim of temptation that his wife helped bring upon him.” -Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D. in Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The … Continue reading ““Love & Respect” by Dr. Eggerichs promotes “The Shared Responsibility Lie””
Some ways to help a faithful spouse
A Christian brother comes over one night. He crumples onto your couch tears overflowing. Through his heaving sobs, you learn his wife has left him and is having sex with another man. The hollow and desperate look in his eyes tears at your heart. What can you do? I will start with the negative first. These dangerous responses … Continue reading “Some ways to help a faithful spouse”
The tortuous dance to divorce of a cheater
There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. -Proverbs 12:18, KJV Cheaters are often very cruel to their spouses. Besides the whole soul rape part, these characters are known to attend couples therapy or pastoral Care sessions only to beat up upon the faithful spouse emotionally. Cheating on the … Continue reading “The tortuous dance to divorce of a cheater”